I have noticed lately the fear Americans have of breastfeeding. It seems pretty ridiculous considering that 100 years ago, breastfeeding was the ONLY way to feed a baby. And now it is somehow gross and obscene? I have my ideas on exactly how we got to this point, but I will spare you and instead draw some attention to the impacts this has on the people around me.
First, and most surprising was the children that seems completely unaware that milk comes from breasts. I can not tell you how many kids have some up to me and asked what I was doing when I breastfeed Molly at the park. One even asked me if I was going to be arrested for molestation! Kids say the darndest things... but I cant help but to wonder how these kids are so clueless about nature. Do they really all think that milk comes from powder that you buy from a store and mix with water and put in a bottle?
Second, I have noticed how awkward and embarrassed adults get. Even other mothers who I know have also breastfed their kids, will shield their eyes, apologize and walk out of the room. To be clear, when I breastfeed around people, I have two shirts on. An undershirt which I pull down and a regular shirt which I lift up. You can NOT see my breast. at ALL. Not a single thing is being exposed, and yet, people avoid me like the plague. It is very isolating and hurtful. I feel like I am being shunned because I don't want to feed my daughter formula... or PAY for formula for that matter. I feel like as far as parenting decisions go, breastfeeding is a pretty good one. Not many people would dare argue that it isn't good for the kid. So why the hostility?
When I have people at my house and I have to excuse myself to go upstairs when my daughter is hungry so that no one flees my house in disgust.
I have to time it JUST right to avoid Molly getting hungry when we are out and about so that no one says anything nasty to me. I try and pump bottles beforehand, just in case. This usually results in not going anywhere at all or having incredibly short outings. Consequently, I get very little done at all. Being a mom, is hard enough without this bullcrap.
People will talk openly about how they think breastfeeding is so disrespectful towards others, or how it is disgusting or the measures that they think a mom should take to avoid anyone anywhere knowing that she breastfeeds her child. And they feel entitled to say these things. Like "how DARE that woman feed her baby while I'm eatting! Its gross!" They say these things with me in the room, knowing that I am a breastfeeding mom, who's daughter might happen to get hungry in the middle of a restaurant too. What can I do? She wont let me throw a blanket over here. Should I go to the bathroom to breastfeed and miss the meal that I payed for? Listen to her scream? I can't express the shame and guilt and hurt that I feel from something that I KNOW is good for my daughter, good for me, good for the planet, natural in every way... there is something wrong with that.
It came to my attention today just how normalized breastfeeding is in other countries as opposed to ours. I was watching a french documentary (not about breastfeeding or babies) and I counted 7 different mothers breastfeeding their kids out and about or with a group of people. and NOONE cared in the slightest. They even showed a few closeups. I can't remember the last movie I saw where a mom was breastfeeding. Even in kids books that are supposed to teach about babies, you see nothing but bottles. It just makes me want to cry. Why is it so difficult for people in this country to view breasts as anything but sex toys?
I think I'm just going to stop caring about other peoples foolishness and immaturity and do what I know is right.
...thats good and all, but what do YOU think?
Is breastfeeding something private, or should it be made public and mainstream?
Is it rude/gross/etc to breastfeed around other people?
Do you want your kids to know about breastfeeding?
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