Yesterday marks the second time in my life that I cried from overwhelming happiness. The first time was when my daughter was born, and this time was when I got to wrap my arms around my husband after seven months of deployment. And as I was walking down the terminal, hand in hand with my husband... the stupidest smile on my face with tears streaming down my eyes, I thought "this is why I do it." All of the hardships of this past year are sooo worth it, and make me realize how much I cherish my husband and how I could never replace him.
I am convinced it is the same reason pregnancies are so long and painful. Because when that baby finally arrives, you realize how wonderful and special that baby is and how everything you went through is now completely worth it. It makes us hold onto our children and love them even more.
I don't think I could be this happy or this aware of how lucky I am if I hadn't gone through the past seven months. I can now pinpoint everything about my husband that makes life with him so much easier and more enjoyable. I can see how incredibly good-willed and family oriented he is. I can feel amazed when he remembers things that seem insignificant. I can forget all of the things that I just couldn't let go of before.
I would love to have this feeling WITHOUT the hardships of course, but that isn't the point. The purpose of life isn't to live it in comfort and normalcy.
I feel like through this year, I have really gotten the point of life. I have gotten why I do this. I am not afraid of going through the next 5 months alone.
Instead I feel blissfully aware of how lucky I am.
I have THE most wonderful husband in the world, and my kids have THE best dad in the world. End of story. I pay a price to be able to say that, to be able to KNOW that. Nothing in life is free I suppose, but I got the bargain of a life time.
This is why we do it. To be blissfully aware.
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