What about Hubby?

I just noticed that my blog does not have a single post about me being an army wife, of what life is like here. Or about my husband or.... anything. I guess the main reason for that is because how I survive this year has a lot to do with not thinking about it. I don't want to think about it, because it makes me sad. It makes me lonely, and jealous and I start feeling sorry for myself and being critical of my husband and blaming him.

She was so little the last time he saw her. 

That's just not the kind of person I want to be. Yes, I suppose I am pretty lonely without my husband around. I suppose I feel incomplete, or sad or unloved. But dwelling on it seems like a horrible idea. I know we signed up for this. We decided to spend the rest of our lives together for better or worse. We decided that becoming and army family was what we wanted, and we decided to get pregnant again. How can I say "no fair" when I put myself in this situation. I felt strong enough to sign up for this, so why would I feel weak now?
Is my life harder than the average persons? Probably. If you are only counting Americans that is. But I feel proud enough of my husband, my family and myself to be able to constantly tell myself "yes I can". I CAN do this because there is no alternative.

My husband is being strong for all his guys in the field. He needs to be to keep everyone safe and working as a unit, regardless of how much he wishes he was home. In fact, he rations his time that he will let himself talk to me. During missions, I will not hear from him for weeks at a time. Not because he CANT talk to me, but because he needs to keep his head for the sake of the mission. He is thinking of his team instead of fulfilling his own needs.  It's really not so different from what I'm doing. My unit is our family. The stakes are high and I cannot fail them.