In the scene, he and his wife are having a very normal married couple argument. It starts when Phil asks Claire (his wife) why she doesn't "light up" for him anymore. She goes into a rant about how much she does all day and how overworked she is and finishes with "So I'm SORRY if I don't wanna light up for you when you come home. I'm TIRED!"
And this is when Phil says (not a direct quote) "you know, I could help you with a lot of that. I know I don't do it the 'right' way, and you think I will just mess everything up, but I can HELP you. I want to help you and I think if you just gave me a chance, I might surprise you. I really think I could surprise you."
(And then of course during the course of the movie he DOES surprise her with how capable and intelligent he really is)Wow. What really struck me was the sincerity, hurt and longing that this line was delivered with. He just wanted to please his wife! He just wanted to help! He just wanted to make things easier for her! What a well meaning and caring guy. It was perfect and I think many MANY husbands feel this exact same way. They try to help out or do something special, and its looked at by his wife as "wrong". or they say "it would just be easier to do it myself" OUCH. Think about what that little phrase means. It would be easier for him to sit on his butt and watch TV, than for him to put in effort into doing something nice for you....... ya..... I know. It sounds pretty bad doesn't it?
My heart goes out to all the women who feel so overworked, and to their men who want to help, but aren't allowed to. I have been there and I know how horribly "normal" it is. It is a real spirit killer when something is going on that just ISNT working, and all anyone can say about it is that it's normal. Who wants to be married if mundane frustration, lack of appreciation, along with a loss of "lighting up" is all that you can expect? EWW!
I confess, that was us a few years ago. Luckily, we found a way to combat it which is working SOOOOOO well for us I wanna shout it from the mountain tops. I could preach about it.... but I will just drop the name of my favorite book that I believe single handedly not only saved my marriage, but made it incredibly enjoyable instead of mundane.
Love and Respect
by Emerson Eggeriches
It is all about how two well meaning people who care about each other deeply can still have a hectic and what feels like very unloving relationship and it goes on to show you how to fix it! The key.... respect! It was such a simple concept yet so foreign to me and this book made it all make sense and put everything in perspective.
WARNING: this book IS written by a christian and IS a christian book. I am not a christian and have read it several times. It's not a book that is trying to convert you. What he is saying is true. He just chooses to back it up with scripture instead of studies (which he also mentions).
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