"I don't love you anymore"

The words every husband or wife hopes they never have to hear... or speak for that matter. For an army wife, hearing these words, is just as common as having a husband with PTSD.
Tonight at an OFS (Operation Faithful Support) meeting, "I don't love you anymore" was the topic of discussion. What an eye-opener! Although, I haven't heard these words yet, the discussion hit close to home and I immediately knew exactly what these women were talking about.
I know without a doubt that my husband is dedicated to our family and does love me. Does he feel the emotions connected with love all the time? Does he numb himself to focus on his mission? Does he "forget" to contact me for weeks at a time? Does he prefer to have light conversations instead of emotional or deep ones? ABSOLUTELY! But hearing others experiences definitely confirmed what I already knew. None of that is personal. It's nothing more than a survival mechanism to keep him focused on the task at hand and keep himself and his guys safe. In fact, I am a bit flattered that the emotions he feels for us are so strong that he has to turn them off to do his job correctly.
Yes, I said it. I am flattered that my husband purposefully turns off his feelings for me. I do the same for him. In fact, I have to do it so much, it has becoming second nature. This is where the "I don't love you anymore" problem comes in. If someone doesn't understand that this loss of feeling is just a temporary coping mechanism beCAUSE you love your significant other, they can start to feel like they don't have those emotions anymore and therefore they must not love their spouse.

I'm glad that I know my husband well enough that I could fore-see this all happening before he deployed. I expected a disconnect. I knew he wasn't going to be emotionally available. But even knowing this, it still stings a bit when I hear other wives talk about how often they get to talk to their hubbies, or how sweet he is or that he sent her flowers, or especially when a wife looks at me with pity in her eyes, as if my husband must not care about me at all if he isn't constantly showering me with compliments. UGH!

I just wanted to share with you one of the things that seems like the end of the world to many couples, is actually perfectly normal in our lives.