Ice-cream flavors and Acceptance

After reading a particularly nasty and judgmental status update from a "friend" on Facebook, I thought it was time to finally write the post that has been on my mind for some time. I have been putting this off because it has to do with religion and I know that I may step on some toes, but I feel like it needs to be said. The following quotes were spoken by the Dalai Lama... or rather tweeted by him.

The true hero is one who conquers his own anger and hatred

Each major religion has its own spirit and character. There is no one religion appropriate for every type of people

Whether or not we follow any particular spiritual tradition, the benefits of love and kindness are obvious to anyone.

This pretty much sums up my take on religion. You see, I look at beliefs like ice-cream flavors.
I love vanilla, with lots of toppings. If Emma takes to plain chocolate, who am I to tell her that her tastes and preferences are wrong?

So what do I do about it? What's my religion?
I might get into that in another post depending on the reception of my readers of this post.

But for now, I would like to address how important it is, no matter what your religion, to understand the views of others.
I don't think it's a secret that I have my qualms with the christian religion. But guess what I'm teaching my daughter! Yup, bible stories. It is not because I want my daughter to be a christian. I just want her to understand their views as well as the views of other religions. It just so happens that I know the most about Christianity so I am teaching her about that while I expand my own knowledge about other beliefs.
If she chooses to be Christian, or Mormon, or Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim... that's her decision. My job is to educate her so that she can make an informed decision.

I look back at tragedies of the past (and present) and I have noticed that much of this is caused by fear, misunderstanding, hatred. Those people are fearful, hateful and misunderstanding because they grew up not learning one thing. Their way. The "right" way. Anyone who thought different was obviously a moronic crazy person or a threat and it was only logical to persecute them or put them to death... I never want my children to be so easily turned to hate.

Above all, I want to model love, humility, and compassion for them. I still have a long way to go, but I'm learning and growing a bit everyday. Isn't that what life is about?

Long Trips with Hoes

A while ago, my daughter and I made a date with another family to go on a trip out of town. We didn't know them TOO well, so I was no prepared for what was about to go down. And what I mean by "go down" is me trying not to act shocked and appalled because I knew we were spending all day with these people.
We started the trip with small talk, probably talking about how nice the weather was, or whatever it is you talk with people about when you first meet them. Not fifteen minutes into the trip she confessed that

• she cheated on her husband the past weekend, 
• it was an acceptable thing to do
• stripping for money is very fun and rewarding
• monogamy is stupid
• I need to try ecstasy
• ... among others that may no be acceptable for this post, but you get the idea

...come again? Did you just..... ummm... wow....  Did that just happen? Is was about that time, I was very thankful that my daughter had not learned to talk yet. 

She then asked for my "honest opinion".... uhhhh... right. I'm not suicidal. I just tried to smile and nod (a trick I learned from my husband) and I hoped she wouldn't bring it up for the rest of the day. It turns out that I have gotten used to my hubby speaking his mind and saying what I am thinking for me, so that he looks like the jerk and I get to keep my "lady" image. When he is gone... I'm not really sure what to do in situations like this. So I didn't do much of anything. 

I share this story because as military wives, it isn't uncommon to tell people you just met every excruciatingly intimate part of your life when you first meet them. I don't understand it, but I'm sure it has to do with so many people trying to make quick connections with people since they move around so much. I am new to this, so I'm not really sure, but that seems to make sense. Right? I still think it's incredibly weird and unnecessary, but this isn't the only instance of it happening. The most uncomfortable, for sure, but not the only. Maybe I just am meeting all the people with no sense of boundaries (more on that in a later post).  I for one and comfortable with boundaries. 

...that's great and all, but what do YOU think?

why does this happen so much?

what would you have done in my situation?

"I'm a baby, That's how I roll...normally"

"Molly, did you poop"
"Maybe, maybe no. It's my secret that I will never tell, so you will never know"
"I could just change your diaper ad find out"
"Oh, you got me there. Foiled again. I'm like a baby foil"

This is just one of many "conversations" I have with my three month old baby daily. She loves is when I talk to her, but honestly I run out of material. There is only so many times you can tell a baby she is cute in one day. Especially when you have a potentially dangerous and jealous toddler listening in.

When I do this, sometimes I feel like a crazy person. I have been feeling crazy a lot lately, and sometimes I wonder if all mom's are like this. Or if it is just the strange mom's. Or the mom's with deployed spouses.

 Once again, I find myself questioning just what IS "normal" anyways? For most people, its a pretty straightforward answer... or at least I think it is. I guess that's the point.
"Most people" for me is kind of an abstract idea (is it for most people?). My best friends are not exactly "most people" or normal or average in any way. That's why I love them.

"Normal people worry me." -MySister.

Ya, I think that about sums her up, and most of the people I associate with.  So what is "normal?" I will probably never know, but one thing is for sure.  I will never be!

...that's great and all, but what do YOU think?
What is normal to you?
Do you consider yourself normal or average?

Grow the Duck Up

In case you were wondering "duck" is the F bomb in our house. Cute, no?

If you are 30 or over and...

•  ... start every story with "this one time, i was so high..." 
• ...spend every weekend cruising the bars for hoes...
• ... spend every weekend BEING the hoe the guys are cruising for...
• ... are sharing a cellphone plan with your parents...
• ...still talk about crazy college (or worse, high school) parties...
• ...spend all day playing video games...
• ...gel your hair up like a tool...
• ...hoe yourself out for attention...
• ...call your parents to deal with legal/bank/car issues...
• ...laugh at men or women who are faithful to their spouses...
• ...get whinny and cry for attention every time something goes wrong...
• ...yell at people when trying to get your point across...
• ...have an issue talking with someone of a different ethnicity/background/sexual orientation....
• ...play the blame game every time you mess up...
• ...have said "nuh-uh" while arguing with someone this year...
• ...think typing 80085 on a calculator is funny....
• ...try to make your partner jealous of someone...

...you need to grow up.

There are things that are fun and youthful, and then there are things that take you away from your responsibilities, or just plain retarted that make you go "...really?"


I love being silly and youthful! Of course I'm only 21... but still. There is nothing wrong with getting a balloon just because, or racing to the car, coloring with crayons, etc. But this stuff is different. I feel like its obvious enough that I can stop writing and go to bed.

The most Valuable Thing I Taught My kid, I didn't Teach her

My daughter, Emma, knows all kinds of things. Most of these things, I have worked with her on. Since she was a baby I made animal noises to her and labeled the noises with the name of the animal so that she would know what sound animals make. I'm not sure why this is a necessary skill for kids, but I sure spent a lot of time teaching her.
When most people think of what they are teaching their kids, they think of things like ABCs, Words, Animals, Shapes, Colors.

**TANGENT** Notice how all those nouns are capitalized? I do that all the time with my nouns, I feel like they should be capitalized. Come to find out, Im German, and in Germany, they capitalize their nouns. WHOA! I just blew you mind, I know.

I think the most important lessons I have taught my daughter are the lessons that she learns from watching me. I am not so much teaching her as I am leading her. It is so much easier to teach a child what to do than it is to teach them what NOT to do. I have tried it both ways, trust me. One is filled with "good job! you did it!" and the other lots of testing limits and "you get in timeout and stay there miss!"

I have a few bad habits... ya, i know, impossible right? But it's true. I am selfish, not generous, stingy, frugal, whatever you wanna call it, I have a bad case of "mine!"I noticed this bad habit a while back and decided that I was not going to pass it on to my child and was very consistent with sharing.

She is great at sharing now, because (darn it) every time she asks for something that I have, I give her some and tell her that its nice to share. This practice leads me to eat cookies in the bathroom on occasion.... but still, she is learning to share.

Of course that isn't the only instance of leading instead of teaching, but my readers are all pretty smart. I think you get it.

ABCs of Feisty Parents

I chuckle to myself every time I hear parents bragging about what number their child can count to, or how many letters of the alphabet their kid can recite. I see one parent getting jealous of the other and wondering what they are doing wrong because their kid can only count to ten and the other child can count to fourteen! How silly of a thing to fret over.
 Not that there is anything wrong with number and colors, but really, why bother the stress over letters and shapes when a kid is going to learn that in kindergarden with no effort on your part anyways?

I love her to death...but sometimes, she is just TOO silly

Some kids really love that kind of thing. Emma is obsessed with letter and numbers. She wants to count EVERYTHING! She asks me what every letter is on my shirt... several times a day and we have read the Dr Seuss ABC book about 100 times. Does that mean she is better than a kid who is interested in dinosaurs? NO!
In fact, I think Emma's obsession is a bit strange. I'm not going to discourage her of course. Whatever floats her boat and is not sex related in fine by me! But I HAVE stopped answering other parents when they ask me how high she can count or if she knows her ABC's. Because, its just not worth it.
I can either lie, to make them feel like their kid is a genius (and they can tell me ALL about what I'm doing wrong and how smart their kid is), or I can tell them the truth and leave them feeling like their child isn't up to par somehow. Either way, it's just no good.

I wonder why parents want to compare their kids so much anyways?