Just a few Observations from a TV show

Lately I have been watching "nanny 911" which is a show staring some mary-poopins-esk nannies who go around like super heros helping trouble children. The parents usually call the show with nasty words about their kids. They say things like "He's just a bad kid" or "She is hopeless" or "They are monsters". But within the first 15 mins of the show, it becomes obvious that it is indeed a parental error and not a case of "bad kids". And what I find particularly fascinating is that in almost every case where a nanny steps in and talks to the kids, she says "you're not a bad kid" and that child immediately gets silent and tearful.
What I hope to never forget is that my kids are not, cannot be inherently bad. They may act up for attention, or they may make mistakes or be confused by my expectations. I hope to look inward at myself whenever I notice a re-occuring problem with one of the girls. And I hope to have the humility, courage and strength to admit that I am doing something wrong if and when that happens.
 Because it is one thing to have kids who do not behave. It is another to have children who feel unloved, ignored or overburdened with expectations. I am going to strive to listen to my kids, even when they have been rambling about the same thing for an hour, or when they seem like they are crying about nothing. Because I still remember what it is to be a kid and I remember how much it meant to me when an adult would level with me, listen to what I had to say, and respond in a loving or wise way.

I want my kids to know what that is like too, because after all is said and done, I don't care if they ever mastered "my way" of folding towels or sorting the little forks from the big ones.  I care that they know what family is. I care that they feel safe and secure and learned responsibility.  I want them to be brave enough to try new things and confident that if they should fail, they have a family full of love and support to pick them back up so that they can try again. I want them to be able transition to adulthood with as few growing pains as possible. I want them to be able to call for help, even if they have gotten themselves in a particularly embarrassing situation.
Maybe its too much to strive for, and maybe I could never be that great or loving. But darn it, I'm gonna try because it's worth it.


What do you think?
If you have watched the show, what lessons did you take away from it?
Do you agree with my observations?
Do you think one parenting technique could be acceptable for ALL kids?

Breastfeeding and baffled

I have noticed lately the fear Americans have of breastfeeding. It seems pretty ridiculous considering that 100 years ago, breastfeeding was the ONLY way to feed a baby. And now it is somehow gross and obscene? I have my ideas on exactly how we got to this point, but I will spare you and instead draw some attention to the impacts this has on the people around me.

First, and most surprising was the children that seems completely unaware that milk comes from breasts. I can not tell you how many kids have some up to me and asked what I was doing when I breastfeed Molly at the park. One even asked me if I was going to be arrested for molestation! Kids say the darndest things... but I cant help but to wonder how these kids are so clueless about nature. Do they really all think that milk comes from powder that you buy from a store and mix with water and put in a bottle?

Second, I have noticed how awkward and embarrassed adults get. Even other mothers who I know have also breastfed their kids, will shield their eyes, apologize and walk out of the room. To be clear, when I breastfeed around people, I have two shirts on. An undershirt which I pull down and a regular shirt which I lift up. You can NOT see my breast. at ALL. Not a single thing is being exposed, and yet, people avoid me like the plague. It is very isolating and hurtful. I feel like I am being shunned because I don't want to feed my daughter formula... or PAY for formula for that matter. I feel like as far as parenting decisions go, breastfeeding is a pretty good one. Not many people would dare argue that it isn't good for the kid. So why the hostility?
When I have people at my house and I have to excuse myself to go upstairs when my daughter is hungry so that no one flees my house in disgust.
I have to time it JUST right to avoid Molly getting hungry when we are out and about so that no one says anything nasty to me. I try and pump bottles beforehand, just in case. This usually results in not going anywhere at all or having incredibly short outings. Consequently, I get very little done at all. Being a mom, is hard enough without this bullcrap.

People will talk openly about how they think breastfeeding is so disrespectful towards others, or how it is disgusting or the measures that they think a mom should take to avoid anyone anywhere knowing that she breastfeeds her child. And they feel entitled to say these things. Like "how DARE that woman feed her baby while I'm eatting! Its gross!" They say these things with me in the room, knowing that I am a breastfeeding mom, who's daughter might happen to get hungry in the middle of a restaurant too. What can I do?  She wont let me throw a blanket over here. Should I go to the bathroom to breastfeed and miss the meal that I payed for? Listen to her scream? I can't express the shame and guilt and hurt that I feel from something that I KNOW is good for my daughter, good for me, good for the planet, natural in every way... there is something wrong with that.

It came to my attention today just how normalized breastfeeding is in other countries as opposed to ours. I was watching a french documentary (not about breastfeeding or babies) and I counted 7 different mothers breastfeeding their kids out and about or with a group of people. and NOONE cared in the slightest. They even showed a few closeups. I can't remember the last movie I saw where a mom was breastfeeding. Even in kids books that are supposed to teach about babies, you see nothing but bottles. It just makes me want to cry. Why is it so difficult for people in this country to view breasts as anything but sex toys?

I think I'm just going to stop caring about other peoples foolishness and immaturity and do what I know is right.

...thats good and all, but what do YOU think?
Is breastfeeding something private, or should it be made public and mainstream?
Is it rude/gross/etc to breastfeed around other people? 
Do you want your kids to know about breastfeeding?

Horray!

I finally have time to blog! It's been about a month since I had lil miss Moly. And here she is in all her adorableness. awwww

I would like to say my life has changed drastically. But really, its about the same. My life still revolves around my kid...umm kidS. My life is full of to-dos and projects and chaos. I still miss my husband, and I am still cleaning up way more human excrement than I ever thought I would. The mornings are a little less relaxing since molly is getting up with me for breakfast...which is a hot breakfast so I can't make it while carrying her in her moby wrap (life saver!) and usually by the time i get her happy enough to set down for a minute, I hear the infamous "**knock knock** MOM!!!!"
from emma upstairs. Cue the chaos.

It's no secret that I have been drooling over these cloth diapers and dying to give them a try. So what's the conclusion about them??? well, there is none yet. There are my first impressions though. And since I have no idea when I will ever get enough time to blog again, I will give you those.

A pack of 6 diapers came for me two days ago. They were a gift from my Mother-in-law and her friend/dog breeder/extended family?? Anyways, after thanking them both, I followed the directions and washed them 5-7 times... heh... okay so I put one on Molly right away, but THEN I washed them 4 times which took the better part of the day. This morning is when I got to try them out.
First impression was that they were bulky. I suddenly worried that all of her cute new clothes wouldt fit anymore. Rest assured, they do. Don't panic.
My next thought was that they were adorable. If it wasn't cold out today, I woulda let Molls roll around in her fancy new booty wear all day. They are just so darn cute.

I will post my opinion on how they are working out and all in a few months when I have something more knowledgeable to say besides "they are cute"