Of Mudpuddles and Lovebugs.

Sometimes I watch my girls and laugh at how different they are. today was definitely one of those days. 

This is Molly, she is one and my destroyer.

This is Emma, she is three, and is my sweetie pea.

We went to the same park we always go to when we are in Florida. We love it because its fenced in and all the equipment is toddler appropriate. 

I watched Molly as she chased birds, and watched as they flew away, with a big frown on her face. I watched Emma carefully examine the love bugs that are now in season and make up stories for them --this one is the mama and that one is her sister-- I watched as Molly laughed as she squished the same love bugs that Emma was so gentle with. I watched Molly climb to the very top and push away the help i tried to offer her down the slide. I coaxed Emma to go as high as her sister, and held her hand down the slide. I watched Emma pick flowers and examine the petals. I watched molly shove a few snails in her mouth and rip up the flower patch. I watched Emma carefully pick the mulch off her pants, and I watched Molly jump in the mud puddle. The examples are endless.

With my two, who are such opposites, it is easy to treat them like two different people. Even so, I have to remind myself sometimes that just because Emma liked this or that at Molly's age, doesn't mean that Molly is going to like it. 

I had another surprise when we got back from the park. I heard her tell the boy she was playing with "no more kisses" but I didn't get the full story. Check out the video to hear from Emma all about the boy and how many kisses he gave her! Yikes! Notice her twirling her hair and that sly smile? I'm in trouble.

Note- I had a talk with her after this video about kissing boys.

Ch ch ch ch changes

Why the new name? 
Infantry on the homefront was working for me for a while, but as soon as my infantryman came home, it seemed like the blog was irrelevant. Even though I have always posted about more than just army life, I felt closed off just because of the name. Hey hey honeybee sounds more, me, and less army.

What else is changing?
Not much as far as content. I will still write about crafts, home, garden, health and family. I will be doing it more regularly on more of a schedule so that there will be less "speed blogging" followed by long lulls. I want to make Hey Hey Honeybee more dependable than Infantry on the Homefront was.

What can I expect? 
I will be posting three blogposts a week plus lots of updates on Twitter, and Instagram. I have also made a new Facebook fan web page for those of you who can keep up better on that medium.
Twitter: @heyheyhoneybee
Instagram: heyheyhoneybee
Facebook: Facebook.com/heyheyhoneybee
You can also click the follow and like buttons on the right side bar for easy peasy access. 

What's with the honeybee?
My name means honeybee, so no matter what this blog evolves into, it will still fit Hey Hey Honeybee. Plus, I think the name sounds cute and inviting.

Girls will be Girls

I am the proud mother of two girls. So naturally my days are filled with tea parties and fake jewelry and high heel shoes. But they are also filled with sword fights, pirates,monsters, worms, soccer, and a whole slew of other things that are not the least bit "girly". But how can that be?

Have no fear, I'm not about to tell you that we need to ban dresses for girls, or put bows in boys hair or get rid of the words "he" or "she" in the name of gender equality. I am just wondering where the neutral toys are! They seem to be exceptionally, and unnecessarily hard to find. I don't think all toys should be gender neutral, but I do think it is important to have a good sampling of toys that ARE neutral and here is why.

Boys and girls play together (or at least they should), so it makes sense for a girl to have plenty of things at her house that are welcoming for a boy. I don't think a boy would like to play with princesses and castles all day. And while there is nothing wrong with a little girl loving castles, it would be wise for her arsenal of toys to also include things like sports equipment, or arts and crafts and other toys that aren't colored pink so that a boy coming over isn't overwhelmed with "girl stuff".
The problem is, it is becoming increasingly difficult to FIND neutral toys. My oldest daughter just got a mickey mouse clubhouse coloring book for her birthday. When you think mickey mouse, who do you think of?
I thought of Mickey Mouse of course, maybe Donald and Goofy, Minnie and Pluto. But who was in this book? Minnie and Daisy. Only. It's not Mickey Mouse anymore. It's Mickey if you are a boy, and Minnie if you are a girl. Elmo for boys and Abby for girls and so on.

I urge anyone who knows a child to be aware of this growing phenomenon and to think more about the child's preferences than the "boy or girl" of it all. For instance, my oldest likes Minnie more than Mickey, but she also loves Elmo more than Abby. So when I get something sesame street for her, I think "what does she like best" instead of "what is the one for a girl". It's a simple thing to do, but I think it makes a big difference.

...that's great and all, but what do YOU think?
Would you buy your girl a train, or your boy a barbie?
What is good or bad about this phenomenon? 

Re-deployment candy land

During our last deployment, my friends and family mistakenly believed that since I was not constantly complaining and visibly struggling, that I must be doing fantastically better than themselves. They would lay their problems on me to fix, or feel sorry for. I would sarcastically reply with how my life was like candy land, blissfully free of problems and generally wonderful in every way. That shut em up pretty good the first time I used it, so it's been kind of a staple of 2011. Now, I'm facing of the opposite problem. People really DO think my life is a candy land. I get calls from people that go kinda like this

 Them:
"so, how have you been"
Me:
"umm... Okay I guess"
 "oh Dont be modest. I bet you are fabulous. Isn't it great to have him home"
 "ya, well we are still adjusting"
 "uh huh, so did you go frolicking though fields of dasies yesterday and dance in the rain?"
 "no..."
"oh that must be tommorw, what am I thinking? Well you better save up some energy for the amazing sex you will be having all night"
 ".........."
"bye"

 Okay, maybe not THAT bad, but I do get very strange comments and questions that are asked in such a way, that it's difficult to know what to say when they are so far off base. I love having my husband home. I'm so glad that he is safe. That alone has lifted an enormous weight off my shoulders, but then there is no shortage of new things we are dealing with and working through. Now, here my husband has asked me to keep a few things strictly beaten us, so I am going to tell you about the general problems that couples with children in our situation are facing.

 Kids: depending on the age, a child may be angry at dad for leaving, confused as to when he is leaving again, he may be angry or throw tantrums all day, may stop sleeping well at night, spend his time out with friends all day or they may not even know who dad IS. You get the idea. It's very confusing and frustrating for them and they often act out, giving little down time to the parents.

On the other side, you have a dad who may not have ever met his kid, or left a barely walking toddler and came home to a talking, reasoning kid. The guilt and confusion that goes along with that isn't easy. And that is just the baseline, no combat issues. Imagine how hard it is for a soldier who saw children die, maybe even by their own hand. Thats a whole other realm I can't even begin to talk about, but it's very real.

 Marriage: many married couples disconnect at some point and have to work at being together again. The adjustment of having a soldier back in the house is a big one. I still am not quite sure how to go about the adjusting yet. So far, it's just a lot of frustration and miscommunication.
Think about it. a year. A YEAR. That's a long time for people to change, form new habits, become stronger or more frail, and in the mist of a deployment many people have changed their whole outlook on life. Some serious changed have happened, and it is no simple task figuring out a whole new family dynamic.

Hey, where have you been?

It's been quite a while since my last post. I know. I wish I could tell you that it's been crazy over here, that I've been so busy with my amazing life, I didn't have time for a single post. But, alas, I have been sitting on my butt. I have been waiting. I have been watching tv, reading, taking care of my kids, and checking the calandar. I haven't been doing anything worthy of posting. On the rare occasion, that I did, I had no motivation to post.
And so now I'm here to tell you, the soldiers getting home is not the end of the trials. For us, it was the beginning. Marriage is hard for anyone. But after he got home from Afghanistan, every problem we had before, was bigger and more obvious. Everything we didn't have a problem with suddenly became a problem. I was lucky because I missed out on the alcoholism that sometimes follows soldiers home from the battlefield. But what was I going to do about all the other stuff? It was pretty overwhelming and it seemed hopeless at times-- most of the time to be honest. I suppose I got pretty depressed. I suppose I still am. They say it takes up to two years to regrow together as a family after a deployment. But we don't have two years before his next deployment. In fact, since January when he returned, I have only been with him for five months out of nine months we should have been together. (It's a long frustrating story that does not involve divorce. Don't worry) 
This means we have less time to get our shit together before it hits the fan again for deployment number two. And then we get to struggle though that and then try and grow back together in time for deployment number three.

 So when do we have a chance to just relax and be normal? When is our marriage safe or secure? It is tiring just thinking about, the next four years of my life (at least) are going to be lived on the edge of a marital cliff. I guess I'm so tired from trying to hold onto my family, I have no energy for much else.

 So there you have it, my depressing post. I did warn you that this blog was a look into the life of a military family. Did you really think it would be all happy stuff? At least we made it this far. Alot of couples didn't, so I guess we must be doing something right. Or maybe my husband is right. Maybe I'm too stubborn for my own good. 

Hopefully my next post will be soon. I love my readers!