December 27, 2011
Pretty little tricks
My husband is coming home soon! Hooray!.....Oh crap!
I spent the last month eating greasy salty foods and more desserts than I care to remember! I have been skipping my nightly face washing and moisturizing and even, I admit, I have gone to bed quite a bit lately without even brushing my teeth! Don't judge me!
Anyways, I'm not exactly ready for my closeup.
But I did find a few things that are very swiftly undoing my negligence.
Secret trick #1 lemon and egg white mask
It's just like it sounds lemon and egg white, on my face for 1/2 an hour twice a day. I use a cotton ball to apply first the lemon juice (fresh) and then my fingers to apply the egg white on top. The lemon juice helps to lighten dark spots or freckles, while also removing a few layers of skin to revel the new good stuff underneath. The egg white, helps tighten your pores and soothe any redness. After only two days, by blackheads have been banished, my skin is smooth, and my pores are all but invisible. Torture undone. DON'T FORGET TO MOISTURISE WELL AFTER THIS!
Secret trick #2 drink my calories
I am not so good at dieting lately, but for the last week I have been starting off with a protein shake in the morning, followed with a cup of coffee, a water bottle, another cup of coffee, another bottle of water, then a smoothie for lunch with lots of good antioxidants. A healthy snack, and then a measured out portion of whatever I made for dinner.its simple enough for me to follow, and since I'm stuffing my face with SOMETHING all day, I don't feel like I'm starving myself. I have been loosing 1/2 lb everyday even with all the extra water weight, so it's working.
Trick #3 naturally bleaching teeth
Baking powder. Yup, just brush my teeth with it and a bit of water everytime after I brush with my normal toothepaste. The results aren't amazing, but it's definitely working, and it's not causing my teeth to be unbearable sensitive, like they are after I use whiteners from the store.
Tick #4 putting Yoga poses into my day
I don't have time to do a full hour of yoga. But I DO have thirty seconds to hold a supper glute burning Yoga pose. I wasn't really expecting results, but golly gee, you should see my tush! Okay...well maybe not, but it's working anyways. I just keep looking for oportunities to get a bit of a burn, and am noticing there are plenty of opportunities. Do a squat everytime I pick up a toy. Skip a step when I go upstairs, use my stomach and back to hold myself upright all day instead of hunching.
I know it sounds stupid, but if anyone else has minimum time to udo a lot of damage, This stuff is working for me. I was crying when I thought about all the stuff I needed to do to get in shape and confident for when hubby gets ome. Not even a week later I feel sexy.
Anyways I'm giving up valuable Ab working time. Adios. Hope this helped someone.
December 15, 2011
The Last Leg!
Deployment is drawing to a close! Over 400 soldiers have already been reunited with their families. My turn is coming soon. You would think I would be overcome with joy and happiness, unable to control my bladder and jumping around frantically in public.
Alas, the stress of it all is getting to me. Before I go on, I would like to point out that my husband and I have a good relationship. I love him to death, I miss him, I want him to be home etc. What I am about to share is not abnormal and it is not because of a lack of love or a decaying marriage.
A few of the things I am feeling lately that you might not expect...
Scared
Upset
Frantic
Stressed
Mad
Uptight
The first and last month of separation is the worst. It is the transition. It is getting used to being alone. Getting used to taking care of everything alone. Getting used to a new routine.... and then I kind of just keep breathing for the next 10 months... until its time to transition again.
Now that I got used to this new life and I am finally comfortable with it, it changes. Now I get to worry about PTSD and all things that go along with it. I get to change my routine, and use trial and error to figure out what works for our family now. Error.. yup, I get to fail. I can't just "lose my internet connection" whenever hubby isn't being kind. I have to deal with all the issues we have been putting off this year. I get to divvy up chores between me and my husband. Too many responsibilities for him will apparently make him feel like I just want him around to help me with the house. Too little will apparently make him feel useless and that I don't need/want him. I get to inform him of the way I have been handling our kids this year, and take his criticism of my methods and argue... I mean DISCUSS how we will parent them from now on. Other changes have happened this year too, we have a new vehicle, more bills, more kids, a flabbier wife, a new diner "menu", even something simple like how I sort and go about doing laundry can be a cause for conflict and need to be changed.
So you see, even though I miss my husband terribly and want him home with me, the transition is incredibly stressful. On average it will take 6-12 months to normalize and get our routine going and be happy with our lives again (or so i've been told).... but guess what happens 12 months from now? Yup, another deployment.
Alas, the stress of it all is getting to me. Before I go on, I would like to point out that my husband and I have a good relationship. I love him to death, I miss him, I want him to be home etc. What I am about to share is not abnormal and it is not because of a lack of love or a decaying marriage.
A few of the things I am feeling lately that you might not expect...
Scared
Upset
Frantic
Stressed
Mad
Uptight
The first and last month of separation is the worst. It is the transition. It is getting used to being alone. Getting used to taking care of everything alone. Getting used to a new routine.... and then I kind of just keep breathing for the next 10 months... until its time to transition again.
Now that I got used to this new life and I am finally comfortable with it, it changes. Now I get to worry about PTSD and all things that go along with it. I get to change my routine, and use trial and error to figure out what works for our family now. Error.. yup, I get to fail. I can't just "lose my internet connection" whenever hubby isn't being kind. I have to deal with all the issues we have been putting off this year. I get to divvy up chores between me and my husband. Too many responsibilities for him will apparently make him feel like I just want him around to help me with the house. Too little will apparently make him feel useless and that I don't need/want him. I get to inform him of the way I have been handling our kids this year, and take his criticism of my methods and argue... I mean DISCUSS how we will parent them from now on. Other changes have happened this year too, we have a new vehicle, more bills, more kids, a flabbier wife, a new diner "menu", even something simple like how I sort and go about doing laundry can be a cause for conflict and need to be changed.
So you see, even though I miss my husband terribly and want him home with me, the transition is incredibly stressful. On average it will take 6-12 months to normalize and get our routine going and be happy with our lives again (or so i've been told).... but guess what happens 12 months from now? Yup, another deployment.
November 14, 2011
Ice-cream flavors and Acceptance
After reading a particularly nasty and judgmental status update from a "friend" on Facebook, I thought it was time to finally write the post that has been on my mind for some time. I have been putting this off because it has to do with religion and I know that I may step on some toes, but I feel like it needs to be said. The following quotes were spoken by the Dalai Lama... or rather tweeted by him.
I love vanilla, with lots of toppings. If Emma takes to plain chocolate, who am I to tell her that her tastes and preferences are wrong?
So what do I do about it? What's my religion?
I might get into that in another post depending on the reception of my readers of this post.
But for now, I would like to address how important it is, no matter what your religion, to understand the views of others.
I don't think it's a secret that I have my qualms with the christian religion. But guess what I'm teaching my daughter! Yup, bible stories. It is not because I want my daughter to be a christian. I just want her to understand their views as well as the views of other religions. It just so happens that I know the most about Christianity so I am teaching her about that while I expand my own knowledge about other beliefs.
If she chooses to be Christian, or Mormon, or Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim... that's her decision. My job is to educate her so that she can make an informed decision.
I look back at tragedies of the past (and present) and I have noticed that much of this is caused by fear, misunderstanding, hatred. Those people are fearful, hateful and misunderstanding because they grew up not learning one thing. Their way. The "right" way. Anyone who thought different was obviously a moronic crazy person or a threat and it was only logical to persecute them or put them to death... I never want my children to be so easily turned to hate.
Above all, I want to model love, humility, and compassion for them. I still have a long way to go, but I'm learning and growing a bit everyday. Isn't that what life is about?
The true hero is one who conquers his own anger and hatred
Each major religion has its own spirit and character. There is no one religion appropriate for every type of people
Whether or not we follow any particular spiritual tradition, the benefits of love and kindness are obvious to anyone.This pretty much sums up my take on religion. You see, I look at beliefs like ice-cream flavors.
I love vanilla, with lots of toppings. If Emma takes to plain chocolate, who am I to tell her that her tastes and preferences are wrong?
So what do I do about it? What's my religion?
I might get into that in another post depending on the reception of my readers of this post.
But for now, I would like to address how important it is, no matter what your religion, to understand the views of others.
I don't think it's a secret that I have my qualms with the christian religion. But guess what I'm teaching my daughter! Yup, bible stories. It is not because I want my daughter to be a christian. I just want her to understand their views as well as the views of other religions. It just so happens that I know the most about Christianity so I am teaching her about that while I expand my own knowledge about other beliefs.
If she chooses to be Christian, or Mormon, or Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim... that's her decision. My job is to educate her so that she can make an informed decision.
I look back at tragedies of the past (and present) and I have noticed that much of this is caused by fear, misunderstanding, hatred. Those people are fearful, hateful and misunderstanding because they grew up not learning one thing. Their way. The "right" way. Anyone who thought different was obviously a moronic crazy person or a threat and it was only logical to persecute them or put them to death... I never want my children to be so easily turned to hate.
Above all, I want to model love, humility, and compassion for them. I still have a long way to go, but I'm learning and growing a bit everyday. Isn't that what life is about?
November 12, 2011
Long Trips with Hoes
A while ago, my daughter and I made a date with another family to go on a trip out of town. We didn't know them TOO well, so I was no prepared for what was about to go down. And what I mean by "go down" is me trying not to act shocked and appalled because I knew we were spending all day with these people.
We started the trip with small talk, probably talking about how nice the weather was, or whatever it is you talk with people about when you first meet them. Not fifteen minutes into the trip she confessed that
We started the trip with small talk, probably talking about how nice the weather was, or whatever it is you talk with people about when you first meet them. Not fifteen minutes into the trip she confessed that
- she cheated on her husband the past weekend,
- it was an acceptable thing to do
- stripping for money is very fun and rewarding
- monogamy is stupid
- I need to try ecstasy
- ... among others that may no be acceptable for this post, but you get the idea
...come again? Did you just..... ummm... wow.... Did that just happen? Is was about that time, I was very thankful that my daughter had not learned to talk yet.
She then asked for my "honest opinion".... uhhhh... right. I'm not suicidal. I just tried to smile and nod (a trick I learned from my husband) and I hoped she wouldn't bring it up for the rest of the day. It turns out that I have gotten used to my hubby speaking his mind and saying what I am thinking for me, so that he looks like the jerk and I get to keep my "lady" image. When he is gone... I'm not really sure what to do in situations like this. So I didn't do much of anything.
I share this story because as military wives, it isn't uncommon to tell people you just met every excruciatingly intimate part of your life when you first meet them. I don't understand it, but I'm sure it has to do with so many people trying to make quick connections with people since they move around so much. I am new to this, so I'm not really sure, but that seems to make sense. Right? I still think it's incredibly weird and unnecessary, but this isn't the only instance of it happening. The most uncomfortable, for sure, but not the only. Maybe I just am meeting all the people with no sense of boundaries (more on that in a later post). I for one and comfortable with boundaries.
...that's great and all, but what do YOU think?
why does this happen so much?
what would you have done in my situation?
"I'm a baby, That's how I roll...normally"
"Molly, did you poop"
"Maybe, maybe no. It's my secret that I will never tell, so you will never know"
"I could just change your diaper ad find out"
"Oh, you got me there. Foiled again. I'm like a baby foil"
This is just one of many "conversations" I have with my three month old baby daily. She loves is when I talk to her, but honestly I run out of material. There is only so many times you can tell a baby she is cute in one day. Especially when you have a potentially dangerous and jealous toddler listening in.
When I do this, sometimes I feel like a crazy person. I have been feeling crazy a lot lately, and sometimes I wonder if all mom's are like this. Or if it is just the strange mom's. Or the mom's with deployed spouses.
Once again, I find myself questioning just what IS "normal" anyways? For most people, its a pretty straightforward answer... or at least I think it is. I guess that's the point.
"Most people" for me is kind of an abstract idea (is it for most people?). My best friends are not exactly "most people" or normal or average in any way. That's why I love them.
...that's great and all, but what do YOU think?
What is normal to you?
Do you consider yourself normal or average?
"Maybe, maybe no. It's my secret that I will never tell, so you will never know"
"I could just change your diaper ad find out"
"Oh, you got me there. Foiled again. I'm like a baby foil"
This is just one of many "conversations" I have with my three month old baby daily. She loves is when I talk to her, but honestly I run out of material. There is only so many times you can tell a baby she is cute in one day. Especially when you have a potentially dangerous and jealous toddler listening in.
When I do this, sometimes I feel like a crazy person. I have been feeling crazy a lot lately, and sometimes I wonder if all mom's are like this. Or if it is just the strange mom's. Or the mom's with deployed spouses.
Once again, I find myself questioning just what IS "normal" anyways? For most people, its a pretty straightforward answer... or at least I think it is. I guess that's the point.
"Most people" for me is kind of an abstract idea (is it for most people?). My best friends are not exactly "most people" or normal or average in any way. That's why I love them.
"Normal people worry me." -MySister.Ya, I think that about sums her up, and most of the people I associate with. So what is "normal?" I will probably never know, but one thing is for sure. I will never be!
...that's great and all, but what do YOU think?
What is normal to you?
Do you consider yourself normal or average?
November 8, 2011
Grow the Duck Up
In case you were wondering "duck" is the F bomb in our house. Cute, no?
If you are 30 or over and...
...you need to grow up.
There are things that are fun and youthful, and then there are things that take you away from your responsibilities, or just plain retarted that make you go "...really?"
I love being silly and youthful! Of course I'm only 21... but still. There is nothing wrong with getting a balloon just because, or racing to the car, coloring with crayons, etc. But this stuff is different. I feel like its obvious enough that I can stop writing and go to bed.
If you are 30 or over and...
- ... start every story with "this one time, i was so high..."
- ...spend every weekend cruising the bars for hoes...
- ... spend every weekend BEING the hoe the guys are cruising for...
- ... are sharing a cellphone plan with your parents...
- ...still talk about crazy college (or worse, high school) parties...
- ...spend all day playing video games...
- ...gel your hair up like a tool...
- ...hoe yourself out for attention...
- ...call your parents to deal with legal/bank/car issues...
- ...laugh at men or women who are faithful to their spouses...
- ...get whinny and cry for attention every time something goes wrong...
- ...yell at people when trying to get your point across...
- ...have an issue talking with someone of a different ethnicity/background/sexual orientation....
- ...play the blame game every time you mess up...
- ...have said "nuh-uh" while arguing with someone this year...
- ...think typing 80085 on a calculator is funny....
- ...try to make your partner jealous of someone...
...you need to grow up.
There are things that are fun and youthful, and then there are things that take you away from your responsibilities, or just plain retarted that make you go "...really?"
I love being silly and youthful! Of course I'm only 21... but still. There is nothing wrong with getting a balloon just because, or racing to the car, coloring with crayons, etc. But this stuff is different. I feel like its obvious enough that I can stop writing and go to bed.
The most Valuable Thing I Taught My kid, I didn't Teach her
My daughter, Emma, knows all kinds of things. Most of these things, I have worked with her on. Since she was a baby I made animal noises to her and labeled the noises with the name of the animal so that she would know what sound animals make. I'm not sure why this is a necessary skill for kids, but I sure spent a lot of time teaching her.
When most people think of what they are teaching their kids, they think of things like ABCs, Words, Animals, Shapes, Colors.
**TANGENT** Notice how all those nouns are capitalized? I do that all the time with my nouns, I feel like they should be capitalized. Come to find out, Im German, and in Germany, they capitalize their nouns. WHOA! I just blew you mind, I know.
I think the most important lessons I have taught my daughter are the lessons that she learns from watching me. I am not so much teaching her as I am leading her. It is so much easier to teach a child what to do than it is to teach them what NOT to do. I have tried it both ways, trust me. One is filled with "good job! you did it!" and the other lots of testing limits and "you get in timeout and stay there miss!"
I have a few bad habits... ya, i know, impossible right? But it's true. I am selfish, not generous, stingy, frugal, whatever you wanna call it, I have a bad case of "mine!"I noticed this bad habit a while back and decided that I was not going to pass it on to my child and was very consistent with sharing.
She is great at sharing now, because (darn it) every time she asks for something that I have, I give her some and tell her that its nice to share. This practice leads me to eat cookies in the bathroom on occasion.... but still, she is learning to share.
Of course that isn't the only instance of leading instead of teaching, but my readers are all pretty smart. I think you get it.
When most people think of what they are teaching their kids, they think of things like ABCs, Words, Animals, Shapes, Colors.
**TANGENT** Notice how all those nouns are capitalized? I do that all the time with my nouns, I feel like they should be capitalized. Come to find out, Im German, and in Germany, they capitalize their nouns. WHOA! I just blew you mind, I know.
I think the most important lessons I have taught my daughter are the lessons that she learns from watching me. I am not so much teaching her as I am leading her. It is so much easier to teach a child what to do than it is to teach them what NOT to do. I have tried it both ways, trust me. One is filled with "good job! you did it!" and the other lots of testing limits and "you get in timeout and stay there miss!"
I have a few bad habits... ya, i know, impossible right? But it's true. I am selfish, not generous, stingy, frugal, whatever you wanna call it, I have a bad case of "mine!"I noticed this bad habit a while back and decided that I was not going to pass it on to my child and was very consistent with sharing.
She is great at sharing now, because (darn it) every time she asks for something that I have, I give her some and tell her that its nice to share. This practice leads me to eat cookies in the bathroom on occasion.... but still, she is learning to share.
Of course that isn't the only instance of leading instead of teaching, but my readers are all pretty smart. I think you get it.
ABCs of Feisty Parents
I chuckle to myself every time I hear parents bragging about what number their child can count to, or how many letters of the alphabet their kid can recite. I see one parent getting jealous of the other and wondering what they are doing wrong because their kid can only count to ten and the other child can count to fourteen! How silly of a thing to fret over.
Not that there is anything wrong with number and colors, but really, why bother the stress over letters and shapes when a kid is going to learn that in kindergarden with no effort on your part anyways?
Some kids really love that kind of thing. Emma is obsessed with letter and numbers. She wants to count EVERYTHING! She asks me what every letter is on my shirt... several times a day and we have read the Dr Seuss ABC book about 100 times. Does that mean she is better than a kid who is interested in dinosaurs? NO!
In fact, I think Emma's obsession is a bit strange. I'm not going to discourage her of course. Whatever floats her boat and is not sex related in fine by me! But I HAVE stopped answering other parents when they ask me how high she can count or if she knows her ABC's. Because, its just not worth it.
I can either lie, to make them feel like their kid is a genius (and they can tell me ALL about what I'm doing wrong and how smart their kid is), or I can tell them the truth and leave them feeling like their child isn't up to par somehow. Either way, it's just no good.
I wonder why parents want to compare their kids so much anyways?
Not that there is anything wrong with number and colors, but really, why bother the stress over letters and shapes when a kid is going to learn that in kindergarden with no effort on your part anyways?
 |
| I love her to death...but sometimes, she is just TOO silly |
Some kids really love that kind of thing. Emma is obsessed with letter and numbers. She wants to count EVERYTHING! She asks me what every letter is on my shirt... several times a day and we have read the Dr Seuss ABC book about 100 times. Does that mean she is better than a kid who is interested in dinosaurs? NO!
In fact, I think Emma's obsession is a bit strange. I'm not going to discourage her of course. Whatever floats her boat and is not sex related in fine by me! But I HAVE stopped answering other parents when they ask me how high she can count or if she knows her ABC's. Because, its just not worth it.
I can either lie, to make them feel like their kid is a genius (and they can tell me ALL about what I'm doing wrong and how smart their kid is), or I can tell them the truth and leave them feeling like their child isn't up to par somehow. Either way, it's just no good.
I wonder why parents want to compare their kids so much anyways?
October 28, 2011
Green-ipies
I have a few concoctions that I use frequently that I love. They save me money work well, and are green!
I can hear you all shouting "tell me more, tell me more!"Well hold on. First things first. We are going to meet my best friend in the homemade cleaning world. Here they are. 
These are Essencial oils. Why do I love them? Well because, they fit the "natural" criteria, you can put them in just about anything, and they smell fabulous. A few of them have wonderful properties as well. Tea tree oil in particular is extremely versatile. I use it in my diaper wipes solution. I will go over them some more in future posts, but for now, I wanna give you guys my secret recipes.... which are not secret at all since Im posting them all over the internet, but.. oh well
All purpose cleaner (works on glass too)
2 cups water
1/4 tsp dish soap
3-4 tablespoons vinegar
3 drops your choice essential oil
Air freshener
1 cup water
8-10 drops essential oil
**add 2 tsp baking soda to make a febreeze
Dryer sheets
1 clean washcloth
vinger
soak 2 square inches of the cloth with vinegar and add a drop or two of essential oil if desired.
Kitchen cleaner and disinfecter
2 cups water
1 tsp dish soap
2 TBS peroxide
2 drops Essential oil
(Keep this in a bottle that doesn't let light in or the peroxide will break down and won't work)
dishwasher rinse
Just pour vinegar into the dispenser
Diaper wipe solution
2 cups hot water
2TBS baby soap or shampoo
2TBS oil (I just use regular olive oil)
4 drops each lavender and tea tree oil
and/or
2TBS aloe vera gel
Weed killer
Vinegar
insect deterrent
vinegar
(Spray it around any possible entrance point to your house in the early spring and follow up every few months)
This is all I can think of off the top of my head for now. Enjoy!
October 26, 2011
Tell me what you think!
So after reviewing the posts on my blog, I realized that in many of my posts I am talking AT you and not WITH you. This is only made worse by the fact that my comments were disabled (sorry about that).
My blog is not meant to be a class where I tell you how the world works, what is the best way to do things, how to be awesome etc.
Let's face it, I'm 21, what do I know?
While I do consider myself pretty darn smart (I'm a genius, can't you tell?), I am sooooo far from the only person with things to share. I have a good deal of things to learn and sense to get bashed into my head.
With that said, I want your input! If you think I am way off base with something, speak up! If you have a better way of doing something, an easier recipe...whatever... let me know. Especially if I let you in on my plan, and you have TRIED that plan before and it has failed. That is a wonderful time to speak up.
Anyways, I would like to hear what ya'll have to say. I just ask that you be respectful of each other. Bash me all you want, but if there is a comment war, I will put an end to it.
My blog is not meant to be a class where I tell you how the world works, what is the best way to do things, how to be awesome etc.
Let's face it, I'm 21, what do I know?
While I do consider myself pretty darn smart (I'm a genius, can't you tell?), I am sooooo far from the only person with things to share. I have a good deal of things to learn and sense to get bashed into my head.
 |
| A wonderful thing to allow my child to do, no? |
With that said, I want your input! If you think I am way off base with something, speak up! If you have a better way of doing something, an easier recipe...whatever... let me know. Especially if I let you in on my plan, and you have TRIED that plan before and it has failed. That is a wonderful time to speak up.
Anyways, I would like to hear what ya'll have to say. I just ask that you be respectful of each other. Bash me all you want, but if there is a comment war, I will put an end to it.
October 25, 2011
Tiramisu frappe
I bought some white rum for a tiramisu recipe I wanted to try. I got home and realized I didn't have a few of the other ingredients for the dessert, but I was in the mood for an alcoholic coffee drink. Here is what I came up with.
1/2 cup fresh or chilled coffee
1/4 cup white rum (about 2 shots)
1/4 cup heavy cream or coffee creamer
2 TBS chocolate syrup
2 cups ice
Blend blend blend and drink up. yum.
...that's good and all, but what do YOU think?
Anyone tried this yet?
How would you rate this using the 5star system?
October 24, 2011
Men's guide to awesome sex
Theres is a simple one-two process to having more sex and better sex! SEX SEX SEX! Do I have your attention yet?
Here it is, married folk
Guys, do things for your women, and they will do things for you.
simple enough
(when I say "do things" here is what I mean)
WOMEN: "do things" means have sex with the man...etcetera etcetera etcetera!
 |
| Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.... you know you like it |
MEN: "Do things" means, put effort into making your wife happy. It is different what works better or worse for different women. The good news is, no effort is wasted. We remember every sex scoring thing you do! And we count it. Sending her flowers at work may be worth ten points to one woman and only one points to another. Alternately one woman might be inclined to sleep with you when you have earned a single point, while anothermight wait till you get up to five points to have super duper sexy sex. Aren't you just dying to know what combinations get you the best most often sex? Don't wait! Start trying stuff out! Here are some sexy ideas.
Clean up the kitchen for her: you need a clean surface to have kitchen sex, you know.
Stick a note inside her briefcase: nothing turns on a woman more than legible handwritting
Stick a note into the dishwasher, you so sexily just unloaded for her.
Cook her a Dinner: pass the sex please...oh.. excuse me. I meant to say blow job.
Send her a sweet email or text: sexy ones work too
Make her something: sex can be made
Give her an extra long kiss when you leave for work: what will happen when you get back? I don't know, we shall see.
Plan a date night: a sexirific one.
Do something that only she enjoys: mmmmm knitting
Give her a massage: watch "that feels nice" turn into "**CENSORED**"
Extra credit: anything that HER friends or YOUR friends witness gets you points every time she talks to her friends about it/you. Her talking to her friends equals sex for you? yup! Common dummy, get in on this sexy action.
Extra EXTRA credit: when planning something, tell her in advance you get points when you tell her, when you take her and when she tells her friends. double the sex, or double the awesome? you will find out.
Really it isn't hard. Any bit of effort, even failed effort, will get you points.
Disclaimer: If this does not work, do not blame me. It is not my fault your wife has no soul.
That's good and all, but what do YOU think?
Ladies, do you respond with sex with any of the examples? What seemingly mundane thing gets the most "sexpoints" for you?
Guys, what has worked for you in the past? Any super sexy ideas? (keep it PG-13 please)
Army Wife: Professional Griever
As an army wife, the grieving process never ends.
You grieve for your friend's husband who is wounded.
For the father who wasn't there to see his daughter at her first ballet recital.
For the Anniversary that was celebrated thousands of miles away
For the missed holidays and Birthday parties
For your own loneliness
For every other wife.
You tear up every time you hear a child asks you where her daddy is,
if her daddy will come home if she is a good girl,
why other kids have their daddy's all the time and
...if her daddy loves her the same as the daddies who are home.
You grieve every time your husband isn't next to you in the morning
every time something else breaks,
every time he isn't there when something goes wrong,
every time you can't tell him about your life
because
it will worry him..
Every time you hear that your hardship is normal
to be expected
for the rest of your service.
We get real good at grieving real fast. It's so fast, we skip right on down to acceptance after a good 30 seconds. Not every time, but most times. Maybe a single tear can escape, that is, if we have time for it. Chances are, we don't. We get paid for this. We are proud of this. We hate this.
...that's good and all, but what do YOU think?
when do you grieve?
what is the hardest thing to cry about?
do you think that other non-military families have some of these issues too?
You grieve for your friend's husband who is wounded.
For the father who wasn't there to see his daughter at her first ballet recital.
For the Anniversary that was celebrated thousands of miles away
For the missed holidays and Birthday parties
For your own loneliness
For every other wife.
You tear up every time you hear a child asks you where her daddy is,
if her daddy will come home if she is a good girl,
why other kids have their daddy's all the time and
...if her daddy loves her the same as the daddies who are home.
You grieve every time your husband isn't next to you in the morning
every time something else breaks,
every time he isn't there when something goes wrong,
every time you can't tell him about your life
because
it will worry him..
Every time you hear that your hardship is normal
to be expected
for the rest of your service.
We get real good at grieving real fast. It's so fast, we skip right on down to acceptance after a good 30 seconds. Not every time, but most times. Maybe a single tear can escape, that is, if we have time for it. Chances are, we don't. We get paid for this. We are proud of this. We hate this.
...that's good and all, but what do YOU think?
when do you grieve?
what is the hardest thing to cry about?
do you think that other non-military families have some of these issues too?
Team Edward vs Team Jacob in the Church!
Growing up in the church, and subscribing to the christian religion very strongly for years, I feel like I have a pretty good idea of what the church is all about, and what they believe. Afterall, I used to be a "they".
It is ironic that I still see christians as "they" because the most damaging and hurtful thing about the religion is the mentality of "us vs them". I can't tell you how many times I have heard a pastor proclaim that there are two types of people in the world. Followers of Christ and Followers of Satan. There is no room for anything else. I don't particularly care for this bit of theology, because it implies that people like the Dalai Lama are buddies with satan and doing evil in the world. Apart from that, I don't think the "us vs them" mentality has ever proved to be a good thing. Think Holocaust, Civil rights, the Crusades, Team Edward and Team Jacob. *bah! twilight reference!
The thing about the religion, is that is isn't even so bad if it is practiced the way that it was meant to be. It's actually pretty amazing. Loving the sinners, befriending the prostitutes, murderers and adulterers. Being so genuinely kind and loving that others can't help but to be drawn to you and your ideals... it sounds pretty good. And that's how most christians see themselves regardless of how they actually act. They see themselves as a member of this fantastic utopian league of exceptionally nice and giving people. Think again.
Okay, Okay, I know. "Not me!" "I know a Christian who..."
Look, I know not everyone is like that. I know there are so amazing wonderful people who are Christians. Unfortunately I have run into a good.... over a thousand "christians" and only a handful of loving caring "Christ-like" individuals. No matter which way you slice it, there is something wrong with that.
UPDATE: The ladies I have met that attend church at Knox are not like this at all. Maybe the army life has something to do with it?
...That's great and all, but what do YOU think?
Have you met people who were religious but anything but christlike?
Why do you think Army Christians are different?
Is the Dalai Lama going to hell?
*note about the Author- I used to be a total "Twi-hard". I read the books a ridiculous number of times and had all my favorite chapters highlighted and marked up. Until it became some tween crappy movie fanatic thing.
It is ironic that I still see christians as "they" because the most damaging and hurtful thing about the religion is the mentality of "us vs them". I can't tell you how many times I have heard a pastor proclaim that there are two types of people in the world. Followers of Christ and Followers of Satan. There is no room for anything else. I don't particularly care for this bit of theology, because it implies that people like the Dalai Lama are buddies with satan and doing evil in the world. Apart from that, I don't think the "us vs them" mentality has ever proved to be a good thing. Think Holocaust, Civil rights, the Crusades, Team Edward and Team Jacob. *bah! twilight reference!
The thing about the religion, is that is isn't even so bad if it is practiced the way that it was meant to be. It's actually pretty amazing. Loving the sinners, befriending the prostitutes, murderers and adulterers. Being so genuinely kind and loving that others can't help but to be drawn to you and your ideals... it sounds pretty good. And that's how most christians see themselves regardless of how they actually act. They see themselves as a member of this fantastic utopian league of exceptionally nice and giving people. Think again.
Okay, Okay, I know. "Not me!" "I know a Christian who..."
Look, I know not everyone is like that. I know there are so amazing wonderful people who are Christians. Unfortunately I have run into a good.... over a thousand "christians" and only a handful of loving caring "Christ-like" individuals. No matter which way you slice it, there is something wrong with that.
UPDATE: The ladies I have met that attend church at Knox are not like this at all. Maybe the army life has something to do with it?
...That's great and all, but what do YOU think?
Have you met people who were religious but anything but christlike?
Why do you think Army Christians are different?
Is the Dalai Lama going to hell?
*note about the Author- I used to be a total "Twi-hard". I read the books a ridiculous number of times and had all my favorite chapters highlighted and marked up. Until it became some tween crappy movie fanatic thing.
Things I learned from organic Gardening.
I haven't been growing things in my yard for a very long time, but in the past 6 months, I have learned quite a lot from it.
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| A few of my tomato and bell pepper plants |
1. Organic is not hard! When I first started, I expected quite a bit of work, research and on the spot problem solving since I wanted to grow everything organically. I mixed up a spray bottle of organic pest and weed control (turns out, its just vinegar and water) and put it with my gardening tools. I have never once used it. The only pests I have come across are my dog and toddler. They eat my stuff all the time, but the only bugs I find near my plants are just chillin'. They don't eat the fruits of veggies, they haven't compromised the roots of stems at all and only occasionally i will notice some of the leaves have tiny holes in them.
2. Organic veggies taste WAY different than what you buy in the store. Did you know bell peppers can be juicy? Cucumbers have much more rich taste. Broccoli is sweet and turns the most brilliant green when cooked. Strawberries are incredibly sweet. They are like candy. Some are sweet, some are sour. At least my mini berries are. I haven't gotten my first tomatoes yet, but I'm so ready for them!
3. Leaves are the best mulch. Also they are free.
4. When I have used weed killer (in a different flower garden) it had horrible results. It killed a few weeds, but it also damaged my flowers quite a bit. They no longer look healthy, and I still have weeds.
5. It is very good therapy to work in the garden. There is something about it, the dirt, plants, bugs, worms, water, all working together so naturally that is very soothing and pleasing. I like knowing that I am not only doing something new and learning, but I am giving something back to nature as well as helping to feed my family. I guess that doesn't make much sense, but anyone who has worked in a garden will know what I am talking about.
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| My strawberry plant that was naturally planted from a half eaten, dropped berry courtesy of the dog |
So.... Why isn't everything organic? I don't get it. It's not much harder. It's less expensive, not harmful to the soil, our bodies, our air, our water, or our energy crisis. I thought it must be super hard if no one was doing it, but it really isn't! I guess if you have 5,000 acres of GM corn, it might be harder.... but who wants a country of nothing but corn? We have a fuel shortage coming. How are we going to sustain a whole country on corn that is hardly edible (its grown to make into high fructose corn syrup, corn starch, corn meal, or cow food for the most part)
...that's good and all, but what do YOU think?
Have you learning anything from gardening?
What is your favorite mulch and fertilizer?
Is pulling weeds worth it?
Babies are so special
When my first born was a baby, I couldn't wait for her to grow up and do cool things like crawling, walking, jumping, talking... I couldn't wait to stop breastfeeding her, I couldn't wait for her to eat her first meal on her highchair, and then I couldn't wait till she sat at the table.
Babies have eyes for only you, or you. It doesn't matter if its mama, or the guy behind you in the grocery store, when a baby is looking at you or smiling at you, you are the coolest most interesting thing in the whole world! It's a stark contrast from the toddler mentality of "do it myself"
Babies want to be with you all the time. This particular trait is quite bothersome when it's time to get things done, but in general it is nice to have a cuddly monster always wanting hugs and kisses. Maybe it is just because of my longing the attention I'm used to getting from my husband, but I think its very nice to have someone who would sit and cuddle with me literally all day and night.
Babies are enduring. I haven't met a baby yet who wasn't a charmer. They are just so darn cute and they are so interested in everything and so in the moment, that you can't help but ogle over them and remark about how cute they are... even if they really aren't all that cute in a picture, all babies are cute in person because of their personalities.
Babies can't disobey. they can't really obey either, but still the lack of defiance is nice. Emma is a great listener, but she is still a toddler. She still wants what she wants and she wants it NOW! No matter how strange a request, no matter if I have the ability to give it to her or not... the whining can wear on anyone. And then I look at the baby who is just sitting there completely immersed in her little duck toy that is unremarkable in every way and I wonder why I didn't appreciate that more when Emma was that age.
Its all of the cute, and all of the love without any of the tantrums, anger, hitting, or spitting.
But then again, Emma has plenty of toddler antics that make me laugh and bring a bit of silliness into my life. I wouldn't change her for the world. I guess its true what they say. You can't love one child more than the other. Because they are so different and unique, you can't compare your love for them.
One thing is for sure, those girls have my heart. And they have my husband wrapped.
...that's good and all, but what do YOU think?
What is the best thing about babies?
What age is your favorite?
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| Emma as a baby It's not that I didn't cherish her babyhood, I was just cheering her on and loving watching her progress so much, I forgot how great babies are. Well, they are a ton of work, and i wouldn't want to take care of a baby for the rest of my life or anything, but they are so gosh darn special and full of squishy love. |
Babies have eyes for only you, or you. It doesn't matter if its mama, or the guy behind you in the grocery store, when a baby is looking at you or smiling at you, you are the coolest most interesting thing in the whole world! It's a stark contrast from the toddler mentality of "do it myself"
Babies want to be with you all the time. This particular trait is quite bothersome when it's time to get things done, but in general it is nice to have a cuddly monster always wanting hugs and kisses. Maybe it is just because of my longing the attention I'm used to getting from my husband, but I think its very nice to have someone who would sit and cuddle with me literally all day and night.
Babies are enduring. I haven't met a baby yet who wasn't a charmer. They are just so darn cute and they are so interested in everything and so in the moment, that you can't help but ogle over them and remark about how cute they are... even if they really aren't all that cute in a picture, all babies are cute in person because of their personalities.
Babies can't disobey. they can't really obey either, but still the lack of defiance is nice. Emma is a great listener, but she is still a toddler. She still wants what she wants and she wants it NOW! No matter how strange a request, no matter if I have the ability to give it to her or not... the whining can wear on anyone. And then I look at the baby who is just sitting there completely immersed in her little duck toy that is unremarkable in every way and I wonder why I didn't appreciate that more when Emma was that age.
Its all of the cute, and all of the love without any of the tantrums, anger, hitting, or spitting.
But then again, Emma has plenty of toddler antics that make me laugh and bring a bit of silliness into my life. I wouldn't change her for the world. I guess its true what they say. You can't love one child more than the other. Because they are so different and unique, you can't compare your love for them.
One thing is for sure, those girls have my heart. And they have my husband wrapped.
...that's good and all, but what do YOU think?
What is the best thing about babies?
What age is your favorite?
October 13, 2011
Yoga Booty
I feel like I'm bugging my friends about all my yoga stuff, so I'm now going to bug the most awesome bloggers in the world about it....hint: you can skip this if you aren't interested. Thats the beauty of it.
I've been doing yoga for about 3 years now. I would love to say those years are consecutive, but really its more like 6 months, 2 months, 4 months, now. I loved yoga, and I knew it made me feel better, but I never had much direction in my practice. I just found a teacher or video and did whatever I felt like that day.
Now I am doing a different kind of yoga. It's called Astanga. For those of you wondering there are tons of different kinds of yoga. They all would seem pretty similar to most people looking in, but to yogis, the differences are obvious and extreme. I wouldn't call myself a yogi, but I can definitely tell that this new Astanga thing is way different and full of awesome. It is the most ancient form of yoga that we know of and it is very disicplined. It needs to be practiced 6 times a week (not on monday for some reason?) and is pretty seemingly simple at first. The poses that I was in during my firs session were so simple, I thought "this is for beginners, I can do way better stuff than this!".... ha... the next morning I woke up with fire in every muscle of my body. FIRE! The next time I practiced it was harder. And then i learned that there are "bandhas" you are supposed to be engaging (kinda like keigels and stomach tightening) in conjunction with the special yoga breathing, while maintaining your poses, calm mind, relaxed muscles and flowing graceful movements...... I have some practicing to do.
But for now, I am very sore, and energized. Oww.
... that's good and all, but what do YOU think?
Have you ever wanted to try yoga?
What is the most appealing part of it to you?
What is your favorite exercise?
I've been doing yoga for about 3 years now. I would love to say those years are consecutive, but really its more like 6 months, 2 months, 4 months, now. I loved yoga, and I knew it made me feel better, but I never had much direction in my practice. I just found a teacher or video and did whatever I felt like that day.
Now I am doing a different kind of yoga. It's called Astanga. For those of you wondering there are tons of different kinds of yoga. They all would seem pretty similar to most people looking in, but to yogis, the differences are obvious and extreme. I wouldn't call myself a yogi, but I can definitely tell that this new Astanga thing is way different and full of awesome. It is the most ancient form of yoga that we know of and it is very disicplined. It needs to be practiced 6 times a week (not on monday for some reason?) and is pretty seemingly simple at first. The poses that I was in during my firs session were so simple, I thought "this is for beginners, I can do way better stuff than this!".... ha... the next morning I woke up with fire in every muscle of my body. FIRE! The next time I practiced it was harder. And then i learned that there are "bandhas" you are supposed to be engaging (kinda like keigels and stomach tightening) in conjunction with the special yoga breathing, while maintaining your poses, calm mind, relaxed muscles and flowing graceful movements...... I have some practicing to do.
But for now, I am very sore, and energized. Oww.
... that's good and all, but what do YOU think?
Have you ever wanted to try yoga?
What is the most appealing part of it to you?
What is your favorite exercise?
Cloth Diapers verdict
After a month of using the new diapes, I feel like I have a reasonably knowledgeable conclusion about them. I love them! For a few reasons...
The only negative so far is that they are harder to carry in a diaperbag. I used to cram 5-6 diapers in my bag. Now its a stretch to get two cloth diapers in there. It hasn't been a big deal so far, but I do have to keep track of the contents of my diaper bag a lot more than I used to. For on-the-go changes, I just keep a smaller wet-bag in my diaper bag and stick the dirty one in there to take back home and wash. It's not incovienant in the slightest... unless you count the ladies who crowd around to ask questions and observe how I cloth diaper Molly. I get why people gawk. The diapers are pretty nifty, and definitely way different and easier than the older kind.
My mom is pretty shocked that I am still using them. She thought I would give up in a week because they would be "soo hard!" Imagine her shock when I told her that they are comparable to disposables as far as difficulty and time consumption.
What do you think?
Have you ever wanted to try cloth diapers?
What stopped you, or made you take the leap?
Are you happy with your decision?
UPDATE: We did our first road trip with the cloth diapes. It was a success. It was only a three day trip, so I just took the clean diapers and the wet-bag, did my normal thing and washed them when we got home. Easy peasy.
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- They hold a lot! The only issue I have noticed with leakage is that when Molly is sleeping on her side at night, she will start to leak pee-pee if I don't give her a change half way through the night. Other than that, no problems as far as holding it's contents.
- They are easy to use. They work just like a disposable diaper. No inserts or covers to worry about. Just stick it on her booty, snap it around her waist and check to make sure it fits correctly around her legs. After it is soiled, I open the snaps, wipe her booty with a cloth wipe and roll them up and throw them in our wet-bag that is hanging on the side of the changing table. (Pictured above.... Isn't it pretty?) Then every other day, we take the whole bag and throw it in the washer...we take the diapers out first. I set the washer on "sanitary"which uses very hot water and an extra rinse cycle. Then we throw them in the drier and they are ready to fold back up and put upstairs.
- They are still cute. We got plenty of colors.
- Molly seems to like them. i.e. no diaper rash and no nighttime diaper changes
- I never worry about running out to the store for diapers (or the dog chewing them up and leaving me with a huge mess)
When she starts eating solids, I will have to spray them off before putting them in the wet-bag, but since she is breast-fed, there is no need yet. The diapers come out sanitized and ready for use, but sometimes they remain a bit stained on the inside. I don't mind so much if the INSIDE of the diaper isn't crisp white. But I have heard that if you lay the diaper out in the sun, the yellow tint goes away pretty magically. I haven't tried it, but I that is what I have heard. The washing doesn't phase me in the slighest. I do at least one load of laundry everyday. On the diaper days, I just throw them in after my first load. It's so easy, we are doing cloth wipes too!
The only negative so far is that they are harder to carry in a diaperbag. I used to cram 5-6 diapers in my bag. Now its a stretch to get two cloth diapers in there. It hasn't been a big deal so far, but I do have to keep track of the contents of my diaper bag a lot more than I used to. For on-the-go changes, I just keep a smaller wet-bag in my diaper bag and stick the dirty one in there to take back home and wash. It's not incovienant in the slightest... unless you count the ladies who crowd around to ask questions and observe how I cloth diaper Molly. I get why people gawk. The diapers are pretty nifty, and definitely way different and easier than the older kind.
My mom is pretty shocked that I am still using them. She thought I would give up in a week because they would be "soo hard!" Imagine her shock when I told her that they are comparable to disposables as far as difficulty and time consumption.
What do you think?
Have you ever wanted to try cloth diapers?
What stopped you, or made you take the leap?
Are you happy with your decision?
UPDATE: We did our first road trip with the cloth diapes. It was a success. It was only a three day trip, so I just took the clean diapers and the wet-bag, did my normal thing and washed them when we got home. Easy peasy.
October 1, 2011
Sleeping babies
Molly will be two months old tomorrow and so far she has not slept in her own crib. This needs to change soon. I know of two methods to get babies to go to sleep, but I'm torn between the two. The cry it out method worked well for Emma, but for some reason, I have my reservations about using the same method with Molly. Maybe it is because every time Molly make a peep Emma says "OHHH NOOO!!!! MLANI!!! MLANI CRYYYING!!!!!" Or maybe I am noticing the difference between the two girls, or maybe I have just gotten used to Emma crying only when she really needs something or is scared.
But whatever the reason, I don't feel as capable of doing the standard, 3min, 5min, 10min, 15min, 20min thing with Molly. It seems kind of...mean this time around. But at the same time, I don't want Molly to not learn how to self-soothe. I don't have to have to rock her to sleep and hold her hand every night. I want her to be a good sleeper, like Emma was and still is. The thing is, I know the reason Emma was such a good sleeper, is because I stuck to the cry it out method so well. I could tell the difference between her cries and would only respond if I could tell she really was hungry, or uncomfortable or scared. When she was crying because she just didn't want to go to sleep, I tuned it out. And she was a still is the BEST sleeper. She went down easy, stayed down until she was hungry and woke up happy in the AM.
I researched the "no cry" method a bit. It seems like a lot of work. Although I guess it would be worth it if it worked. Trouble is, I don't know if it will work. Especially for the long run. The only parents I know that couldn't stand to hear their daughter cry, have had trouble putting her to bed ever since she was a baby. She is almost the same age as Emma and it is still a three hour affair for them to get her to bed and stay in bed. I guess the "no cry" method didn't really work for them so well.
After writing this, I guess its a no-brainer which method I have more trust in, and which I think will be best in the long run... Maybe by the time Molly is actually ready for sleep training it will be easier to tell her cries apart and it wont be so heart wrenching to hear her cry. Jacob should be home by then too so maybe that will make it easier.
What do you think?
If you are a parent, what sleep technique did you use with your child?
If you are a parent in training, what technique do you think you WOULD use?
But whatever the reason, I don't feel as capable of doing the standard, 3min, 5min, 10min, 15min, 20min thing with Molly. It seems kind of...mean this time around. But at the same time, I don't want Molly to not learn how to self-soothe. I don't have to have to rock her to sleep and hold her hand every night. I want her to be a good sleeper, like Emma was and still is. The thing is, I know the reason Emma was such a good sleeper, is because I stuck to the cry it out method so well. I could tell the difference between her cries and would only respond if I could tell she really was hungry, or uncomfortable or scared. When she was crying because she just didn't want to go to sleep, I tuned it out. And she was a still is the BEST sleeper. She went down easy, stayed down until she was hungry and woke up happy in the AM.
I researched the "no cry" method a bit. It seems like a lot of work. Although I guess it would be worth it if it worked. Trouble is, I don't know if it will work. Especially for the long run. The only parents I know that couldn't stand to hear their daughter cry, have had trouble putting her to bed ever since she was a baby. She is almost the same age as Emma and it is still a three hour affair for them to get her to bed and stay in bed. I guess the "no cry" method didn't really work for them so well.
After writing this, I guess its a no-brainer which method I have more trust in, and which I think will be best in the long run... Maybe by the time Molly is actually ready for sleep training it will be easier to tell her cries apart and it wont be so heart wrenching to hear her cry. Jacob should be home by then too so maybe that will make it easier.
What do you think?
If you are a parent, what sleep technique did you use with your child?
If you are a parent in training, what technique do you think you WOULD use?
LOL at normal people!
My husband and I have been together on and off since we were 16. We went to different schools, both had jobs and our parents didn't approve. If we got to see each other once a week, it was exciting. That was when we lived in the same town. A year later he moved three hours away. That would have been bad enough if he wasn't also going to a school which forbid him from contacting girls from back home.... that ment me.
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| The day we got engaged. (Yes, I was already severely pregnant) |
Even when we moved in together in our first house, he was so exhausted after he got home from his physically demanding days starting at 5am, that he was pretty much asleep as soon as dinner was finished. It wasn't until the middle of our second year of marriage that we actually could spend time together.
I never relish time away from him, but I have gotten so used to the away time, that after a few months of lots of time together I started to wonder when he was going to be leaving again. I hope that doesn't sound cold. I think its a case of "absence makes the heart grow fonder". I love my husband with all my heart, and I would rather have him here at home where he belongs, but him being away gives me times to appreciate how much he means to me, and how much easier he makes my life. It makes the little things seem so insignificant and it makes us want to FIX the big things instead of shoving it under the rug. It works for us I suppose.
But I can't help but chuckle when I hear other couples lament over spending one.. maybe two weeks apart. I have actually laughed out loud about it before. And I think people usually realize how silly it sounds to me, even if I manage to keep a straight face, (after the words have already left their lips). They do one of those embarrassed and sorry pressing their lips together things.
I understand that the feeling of dread when a separation is upcoming is "normal" for people. But maybe it shouldn't be.
Or maybe my relationship with my husband is just THAT strange. Who knows. It works for us. Different things work for other people. But I still can't help but LOL.
What do you think?
Does absence make the heart fonder?
What are the advantages, drawbacks?
What is your experience with separation?
Deployment Success vs Managing to not kill yourself
Army wives often say "it takes a certain kind of person to be able to live this life" but I dissagree. Anyone can marry a soldier and "live this life". At least for a while. And most people can keep breathing while their husband is deployed. I say "most people" because there is a very high suicide rate in the military for both soldiers and spouses.
Instead of saying "it takes a certain kind of person to live this life" I say "it takes a certain kind of person to be able to live this life with SUCCESS"
What success means is different for everyone, but I think there are a few things that most people can agree on.
The home front spouse as a support to their soldier.
The soldiers need to stay focused on their job and their mission---NOT the troubles back home.
here are the no-no's in my book.
1. Cheating! I dont think anyone would argue that if you feel the need to seek comfort in the arms of another as soon as your spouse is gone, you have not succeeded in being a support on the home front. If you are cheating or have cheated on your spouse while he or she is away... well... ya.... thats not exactly supportive. I don't think anyone can argue about that.
2. Neediness. It is way different to miss your spouse of wish he were home than it is to NEED him and let him know it. I can only imagine how horrible it must be to be deployed in a war zone and when you finally get to call home, you hear about how horrible it is without you and how you need to come home. What is point of guilt tripping your soldier for fighting for his country? Like they really need one more thing to worry about.
3. Giving up. In any way shape or form, giving up is never good when you have become the backbone of your family unit. Giving up on your kids. Sending them away to relatives, abandoning your family home, discontinuing all efforts to keep a clean home... giving up doesn't equal success.
4. Substance abuse or addiction- Picking up an addiction, wether it is shopping, alcohol, drugs... depending on something that is unhealthy is not an ideal way to spend a deployment and again is not a mark of a strong individual conquering a difficult time.
While some of these things are much worse than others, all of them are selfish and do not support the soldier or put his mind at ease. No matter what has happened during a deployment, marriages can always be saved, things can always be fixed and forgiven. I am not trying to condemn anyone.
I just get sick of observers saying things to certain spouses like "I don't know how you do it, you are such a strong woman" when I know full well that spouse is getting by with alcohol or by abandoning their responsibilities, or by finding a man to replace her husband.... fill in the blank. Of course not all wives are like that.
There ARE plenty of army wives who really ARE amazing and strong and are not only surviving but thriving. Getting their degrees, learning new skills, loosing weight, being awesome parents.... examples are everywhere! And I'm happy to report that there are MANY more strong and thriving wives than there are.... well I don't wanna say "weak" because its insulting but at the same time, the wives who are causing their husbands to not be able to do their jobs and consequently putting other men at risk... well maybe they deserve to be insulted.
If something happens to my husband because the guy who was supposed to have his back was stressing over his wife's cheating.... well I will have some much stronger words for that woman.
Anyways, don't assume that every person who has a spouse in the military was made for this life, or can survive and thrive in this environment. Strong spouses and parents are definitely out there, but so are the weak ones.
What do you think?
Have you met any exceptionally strong military spouses?
Have you met any that are coming apart at the seams or has used an unhealthy crutch?
Instead of saying "it takes a certain kind of person to live this life" I say "it takes a certain kind of person to be able to live this life with SUCCESS"
What success means is different for everyone, but I think there are a few things that most people can agree on.
The home front spouse as a support to their soldier.
The soldiers need to stay focused on their job and their mission---NOT the troubles back home.
here are the no-no's in my book.
1. Cheating! I dont think anyone would argue that if you feel the need to seek comfort in the arms of another as soon as your spouse is gone, you have not succeeded in being a support on the home front. If you are cheating or have cheated on your spouse while he or she is away... well... ya.... thats not exactly supportive. I don't think anyone can argue about that.
2. Neediness. It is way different to miss your spouse of wish he were home than it is to NEED him and let him know it. I can only imagine how horrible it must be to be deployed in a war zone and when you finally get to call home, you hear about how horrible it is without you and how you need to come home. What is point of guilt tripping your soldier for fighting for his country? Like they really need one more thing to worry about.
3. Giving up. In any way shape or form, giving up is never good when you have become the backbone of your family unit. Giving up on your kids. Sending them away to relatives, abandoning your family home, discontinuing all efforts to keep a clean home... giving up doesn't equal success.
4. Substance abuse or addiction- Picking up an addiction, wether it is shopping, alcohol, drugs... depending on something that is unhealthy is not an ideal way to spend a deployment and again is not a mark of a strong individual conquering a difficult time.
While some of these things are much worse than others, all of them are selfish and do not support the soldier or put his mind at ease. No matter what has happened during a deployment, marriages can always be saved, things can always be fixed and forgiven. I am not trying to condemn anyone.
I just get sick of observers saying things to certain spouses like "I don't know how you do it, you are such a strong woman" when I know full well that spouse is getting by with alcohol or by abandoning their responsibilities, or by finding a man to replace her husband.... fill in the blank. Of course not all wives are like that.
There ARE plenty of army wives who really ARE amazing and strong and are not only surviving but thriving. Getting their degrees, learning new skills, loosing weight, being awesome parents.... examples are everywhere! And I'm happy to report that there are MANY more strong and thriving wives than there are.... well I don't wanna say "weak" because its insulting but at the same time, the wives who are causing their husbands to not be able to do their jobs and consequently putting other men at risk... well maybe they deserve to be insulted.
If something happens to my husband because the guy who was supposed to have his back was stressing over his wife's cheating.... well I will have some much stronger words for that woman.
Anyways, don't assume that every person who has a spouse in the military was made for this life, or can survive and thrive in this environment. Strong spouses and parents are definitely out there, but so are the weak ones.
What do you think?
Have you met any exceptionally strong military spouses?
Have you met any that are coming apart at the seams or has used an unhealthy crutch?
September 26, 2011
Just a few Observations from a TV show
Lately I have been watching "nanny 911" which is a show staring some mary-poopins-esk nannies who go around like super heros helping trouble children. The parents usually call the show with nasty words about their kids. They say things like "He's just a bad kid" or "She is hopeless" or "They are monsters". But within the first 15 mins of the show, it becomes obvious that it is indeed a parental error and not a case of "bad kids". And what I find particularly fascinating is that in almost every case where a nanny steps in and talks to the kids, she says "you're not a bad kid" and that child immediately gets silent and tearful.
What I hope to never forget is that my kids are not, cannot be inherently bad. They may act up for attention, or they may make mistakes or be confused by my expectations. I hope to look inward at myself whenever I notice a re-occuring problem with one of the girls. And I hope to have the humility, courage and strength to admit that I am doing something wrong if and when that happens.
Because it is one thing to have kids who do not behave. It is another to have children who feel unloved, ignored or overburdened with expectations. I am going to strive to listen to my kids, even when they have been rambling about the same thing for an hour, or when they seem like they are crying about nothing. Because I still remember what it is to be a kid and I remember how much it meant to me when an adult would level with me, listen to what I had to say, and respond in a loving or wise way.
I want my kids to know what that is like too, because after all is said and done, I don't care if they ever mastered "my way" of folding towels or sorting the little forks from the big ones. I care that they know what family is. I care that they feel safe and secure and learned responsibility. I want them to be brave enough to try new things and confident that if they should fail, they have a family full of love and support to pick them back up so that they can try again. I want them to be able transition to adulthood with as few growing pains as possible. I want them to be able to call for help, even if they have gotten themselves in a particularly embarrassing situation.
Maybe its too much to strive for, and maybe I could never be that great or loving. But darn it, I'm gonna try because it's worth it.
What do you think?
If you have watched the show, what lessons did you take away from it?
Do you agree with my observations?
Do you think one parenting technique could be acceptable for ALL kids?
What I hope to never forget is that my kids are not, cannot be inherently bad. They may act up for attention, or they may make mistakes or be confused by my expectations. I hope to look inward at myself whenever I notice a re-occuring problem with one of the girls. And I hope to have the humility, courage and strength to admit that I am doing something wrong if and when that happens.
Because it is one thing to have kids who do not behave. It is another to have children who feel unloved, ignored or overburdened with expectations. I am going to strive to listen to my kids, even when they have been rambling about the same thing for an hour, or when they seem like they are crying about nothing. Because I still remember what it is to be a kid and I remember how much it meant to me when an adult would level with me, listen to what I had to say, and respond in a loving or wise way.
I want my kids to know what that is like too, because after all is said and done, I don't care if they ever mastered "my way" of folding towels or sorting the little forks from the big ones. I care that they know what family is. I care that they feel safe and secure and learned responsibility. I want them to be brave enough to try new things and confident that if they should fail, they have a family full of love and support to pick them back up so that they can try again. I want them to be able transition to adulthood with as few growing pains as possible. I want them to be able to call for help, even if they have gotten themselves in a particularly embarrassing situation.
Maybe its too much to strive for, and maybe I could never be that great or loving. But darn it, I'm gonna try because it's worth it.
What do you think?
If you have watched the show, what lessons did you take away from it?
Do you agree with my observations?
Do you think one parenting technique could be acceptable for ALL kids?
September 21, 2011
Breastfeeding and baffled
I have noticed lately the fear Americans have of breastfeeding. It seems pretty ridiculous considering that 100 years ago, breastfeeding was the ONLY way to feed a baby. And now it is somehow gross and obscene? I have my ideas on exactly how we got to this point, but I will spare you and instead draw some attention to the impacts this has on the people around me.
First, and most surprising was the children that seems completely unaware that milk comes from breasts. I can not tell you how many kids have some up to me and asked what I was doing when I breastfeed Molly at the park. One even asked me if I was going to be arrested for molestation! Kids say the darndest things... but I cant help but to wonder how these kids are so clueless about nature. Do they really all think that milk comes from powder that you buy from a store and mix with water and put in a bottle?
Second, I have noticed how awkward and embarrassed adults get. Even other mothers who I know have also breastfed their kids, will shield their eyes, apologize and walk out of the room. To be clear, when I breastfeed around people, I have two shirts on. An undershirt which I pull down and a regular shirt which I lift up. You can NOT see my breast. at ALL. Not a single thing is being exposed, and yet, people avoid me like the plague. It is very isolating and hurtful. I feel like I am being shunned because I don't want to feed my daughter formula... or PAY for formula for that matter. I feel like as far as parenting decisions go, breastfeeding is a pretty good one. Not many people would dare argue that it isn't good for the kid. So why the hostility?
When I have people at my house and I have to excuse myself to go upstairs when my daughter is hungry so that no one flees my house in disgust.
I have to time it JUST right to avoid Molly getting hungry when we are out and about so that no one says anything nasty to me. I try and pump bottles beforehand, just in case. This usually results in not going anywhere at all or having incredibly short outings. Consequently, I get very little done at all. Being a mom, is hard enough without this bullcrap.
People will talk openly about how they think breastfeeding is so disrespectful towards others, or how it is disgusting or the measures that they think a mom should take to avoid anyone anywhere knowing that she breastfeeds her child. And they feel entitled to say these things. Like "how DARE that woman feed her baby while I'm eatting! Its gross!" They say these things with me in the room, knowing that I am a breastfeeding mom, who's daughter might happen to get hungry in the middle of a restaurant too. What can I do? She wont let me throw a blanket over here. Should I go to the bathroom to breastfeed and miss the meal that I payed for? Listen to her scream? I can't express the shame and guilt and hurt that I feel from something that I KNOW is good for my daughter, good for me, good for the planet, natural in every way... there is something wrong with that.
It came to my attention today just how normalized breastfeeding is in other countries as opposed to ours. I was watching a french documentary (not about breastfeeding or babies) and I counted 7 different mothers breastfeeding their kids out and about or with a group of people. and NOONE cared in the slightest. They even showed a few closeups. I can't remember the last movie I saw where a mom was breastfeeding. Even in kids books that are supposed to teach about babies, you see nothing but bottles. It just makes me want to cry. Why is it so difficult for people in this country to view breasts as anything but sex toys?
I think I'm just going to stop caring about other peoples foolishness and immaturity and do what I know is right.
...thats good and all, but what do YOU think?
Is breastfeeding something private, or should it be made public and mainstream?
Is it rude/gross/etc to breastfeed around other people?
Do you want your kids to know about breastfeeding?
First, and most surprising was the children that seems completely unaware that milk comes from breasts. I can not tell you how many kids have some up to me and asked what I was doing when I breastfeed Molly at the park. One even asked me if I was going to be arrested for molestation! Kids say the darndest things... but I cant help but to wonder how these kids are so clueless about nature. Do they really all think that milk comes from powder that you buy from a store and mix with water and put in a bottle?
Second, I have noticed how awkward and embarrassed adults get. Even other mothers who I know have also breastfed their kids, will shield their eyes, apologize and walk out of the room. To be clear, when I breastfeed around people, I have two shirts on. An undershirt which I pull down and a regular shirt which I lift up. You can NOT see my breast. at ALL. Not a single thing is being exposed, and yet, people avoid me like the plague. It is very isolating and hurtful. I feel like I am being shunned because I don't want to feed my daughter formula... or PAY for formula for that matter. I feel like as far as parenting decisions go, breastfeeding is a pretty good one. Not many people would dare argue that it isn't good for the kid. So why the hostility?
When I have people at my house and I have to excuse myself to go upstairs when my daughter is hungry so that no one flees my house in disgust.
I have to time it JUST right to avoid Molly getting hungry when we are out and about so that no one says anything nasty to me. I try and pump bottles beforehand, just in case. This usually results in not going anywhere at all or having incredibly short outings. Consequently, I get very little done at all. Being a mom, is hard enough without this bullcrap.
People will talk openly about how they think breastfeeding is so disrespectful towards others, or how it is disgusting or the measures that they think a mom should take to avoid anyone anywhere knowing that she breastfeeds her child. And they feel entitled to say these things. Like "how DARE that woman feed her baby while I'm eatting! Its gross!" They say these things with me in the room, knowing that I am a breastfeeding mom, who's daughter might happen to get hungry in the middle of a restaurant too. What can I do? She wont let me throw a blanket over here. Should I go to the bathroom to breastfeed and miss the meal that I payed for? Listen to her scream? I can't express the shame and guilt and hurt that I feel from something that I KNOW is good for my daughter, good for me, good for the planet, natural in every way... there is something wrong with that.
It came to my attention today just how normalized breastfeeding is in other countries as opposed to ours. I was watching a french documentary (not about breastfeeding or babies) and I counted 7 different mothers breastfeeding their kids out and about or with a group of people. and NOONE cared in the slightest. They even showed a few closeups. I can't remember the last movie I saw where a mom was breastfeeding. Even in kids books that are supposed to teach about babies, you see nothing but bottles. It just makes me want to cry. Why is it so difficult for people in this country to view breasts as anything but sex toys?
I think I'm just going to stop caring about other peoples foolishness and immaturity and do what I know is right.
...thats good and all, but what do YOU think?
Is breastfeeding something private, or should it be made public and mainstream?
Is it rude/gross/etc to breastfeed around other people?
Do you want your kids to know about breastfeeding?
September 13, 2011
Horray!
I finally have time to blog! It's been about a month since I had lil miss Moly. And here she is in all her adorableness. awwww
I would like to say my life has changed drastically. But really, its about the same. My life still revolves around my kid...umm kidS. My life is full of to-dos and projects and chaos. I still miss my husband, and I am still cleaning up way more human excrement than I ever thought I would. The mornings are a little less relaxing since molly is getting up with me for breakfast...which is a hot breakfast so I can't make it while carrying her in her moby wrap (life saver!) and usually by the time i get her happy enough to set down for a minute, I hear the infamous "**knock knock** MOM!!!!"
from emma upstairs. Cue the chaos.
It's no secret that I have been drooling over these cloth diapers and dying to give them a try. So what's the conclusion about them??? well, there is none yet. There are my first impressions though. And since I have no idea when I will ever get enough time to blog again, I will give you those.
A pack of 6 diapers came for me two days ago. They were a gift from my Mother-in-law and her friend/dog breeder/extended family?? Anyways, after thanking them both, I followed the directions and washed them 5-7 times... heh... okay so I put one on Molly right away, but THEN I washed them 4 times which took the better part of the day. This morning is when I got to try them out.
First impression was that they were bulky. I suddenly worried that all of her cute new clothes wouldt fit anymore. Rest assured, they do. Don't panic.
My next thought was that they were adorable. If it wasn't cold out today, I woulda let Molls roll around in her fancy new booty wear all day. They are just so darn cute.
I will post my opinion on how they are working out and all in a few months when I have something more knowledgeable to say besides "they are cute"
I would like to say my life has changed drastically. But really, its about the same. My life still revolves around my kid...umm kidS. My life is full of to-dos and projects and chaos. I still miss my husband, and I am still cleaning up way more human excrement than I ever thought I would. The mornings are a little less relaxing since molly is getting up with me for breakfast...which is a hot breakfast so I can't make it while carrying her in her moby wrap (life saver!) and usually by the time i get her happy enough to set down for a minute, I hear the infamous "**knock knock** MOM!!!!"
from emma upstairs. Cue the chaos.
It's no secret that I have been drooling over these cloth diapers and dying to give them a try. So what's the conclusion about them??? well, there is none yet. There are my first impressions though. And since I have no idea when I will ever get enough time to blog again, I will give you those.
A pack of 6 diapers came for me two days ago. They were a gift from my Mother-in-law and her friend/dog breeder/extended family?? Anyways, after thanking them both, I followed the directions and washed them 5-7 times... heh... okay so I put one on Molly right away, but THEN I washed them 4 times which took the better part of the day. This morning is when I got to try them out.
First impression was that they were bulky. I suddenly worried that all of her cute new clothes wouldt fit anymore. Rest assured, they do. Don't panic.
My next thought was that they were adorable. If it wasn't cold out today, I woulda let Molls roll around in her fancy new booty wear all day. They are just so darn cute.
I will post my opinion on how they are working out and all in a few months when I have something more knowledgeable to say besides "they are cute"
July 30, 2011
Homemade organic window cleaner
This is the "recipe" I used to refill my windex container. I used it yesterday, works great, no streaks, and the faint vinegar smell (which hubby hates) dissipates within two mins.
- 1 cup water
- 1 1/2 TBS white vinegar
- 1/4 tsp liquid dish detergent
I also use this solution to shine up my hardware on my sinks every once in a while. It really is no different from windex minus the harmful chemicals. Windex even released a new product "with vinegar" which you can pay $3-4 for, or you can make it for free with things you already have laying around at home.... I pick free and safe, but thats just me.
July 26, 2011
Blissfully Aware
Yesterday marks the second time in my life that I cried from overwhelming happiness. The first time was when my daughter was born, and this time was when I got to wrap my arms around my husband after seven months of deployment. And as I was walking down the terminal, hand in hand with my husband... the stupidest smile on my face with tears streaming down my eyes, I thought "this is why I do it." All of the hardships of this past year are sooo worth it, and make me realize how much I cherish my husband and how I could never replace him.
I am convinced it is the same reason pregnancies are so long and painful. Because when that baby finally arrives, you realize how wonderful and special that baby is and how everything you went through is now completely worth it. It makes us hold onto our children and love them even more.
I don't think I could be this happy or this aware of how lucky I am if I hadn't gone through the past seven months. I can now pinpoint everything about my husband that makes life with him so much easier and more enjoyable. I can see how incredibly good-willed and family oriented he is. I can feel amazed when he remembers things that seem insignificant. I can forget all of the things that I just couldn't let go of before.
I would love to have this feeling WITHOUT the hardships of course, but that isn't the point. The purpose of life isn't to live it in comfort and normalcy.
I feel like through this year, I have really gotten the point of life. I have gotten why I do this. I am not afraid of going through the next 5 months alone.
Instead I feel blissfully aware of how lucky I am.
I have THE most wonderful husband in the world, and my kids have THE best dad in the world. End of story. I pay a price to be able to say that, to be able to KNOW that. Nothing in life is free I suppose, but I got the bargain of a life time.
This is why we do it. To be blissfully aware.
I am convinced it is the same reason pregnancies are so long and painful. Because when that baby finally arrives, you realize how wonderful and special that baby is and how everything you went through is now completely worth it. It makes us hold onto our children and love them even more.
I don't think I could be this happy or this aware of how lucky I am if I hadn't gone through the past seven months. I can now pinpoint everything about my husband that makes life with him so much easier and more enjoyable. I can see how incredibly good-willed and family oriented he is. I can feel amazed when he remembers things that seem insignificant. I can forget all of the things that I just couldn't let go of before.
I would love to have this feeling WITHOUT the hardships of course, but that isn't the point. The purpose of life isn't to live it in comfort and normalcy.
I feel like through this year, I have really gotten the point of life. I have gotten why I do this. I am not afraid of going through the next 5 months alone.
Instead I feel blissfully aware of how lucky I am.
I have THE most wonderful husband in the world, and my kids have THE best dad in the world. End of story. I pay a price to be able to say that, to be able to KNOW that. Nothing in life is free I suppose, but I got the bargain of a life time.
This is why we do it. To be blissfully aware.
July 25, 2011
R&R is almost here!
Tomorrow will rank among with top 5 best days of my life ever! Okay... so I'm only 21 and maybe I haven't lived enough days to make that sound impressive. But my daughter's birth day would be on the list and so will the birth of our next daughter who should be arriving..... about now. I know our wedding say SHOULD make the list... but going to a courthouse to sign some papers a few weeks after giving birth isn't exactly magical.
ANYWAYS, I am feeling so odd about it. I mean, my husband is coming home! HOME! Why does that sounds so strange to me? Like it is some magical thing that I don't deserve? Like it is so strange for wives to be able to see their husbands? I just can't wrap my mind around the fact that in a day, my husband will be sitting on our couch snuggling with me and eating cheeze-its. It's been 7 months since I have seen him. And oddly, those 7 months have now become my sense of "normal". It is normal for me to do everything myself. It's normal for Emma to kiss a picture goodnight. It's normal to sleep alone and to schedule "cry time". Somehow after 7 months of "normal" I feel like I don't deserve for him to really and truly be home. I can't wrap my mind around how I ever could have deserved to be lucky enough to be able to spend time with my husband. And then I remember, being with your husband all the time is everyone else's normal. How easy it is to take someone for granted when you get to see them all the time. I don't have that problem. I know my time with Jacob is precious Not only is he constantly on a deployment schedule, but his job is such that, I never really know if he is coming home at all. It makes things like dirty socks and snoring seem silly and childish.
I wonder how people would treat their spouses if EVERYONE lived in fear that their significant other wasn't coming home. If EVERYONE dreaded hearing those ominous three sharp knocks on the door. Would our divorce rates be so deplorable? I digress...
The point is, I am very grateful for the time I get to spend with my husband. I am not letting a moment pass me by. So needless to say, this will be my last post for a while (depending on how much hubby sleeps when he gets here that is). I have a feeling he is going to be more exhausted than words could possibly describe.
ANYWAYS, I am feeling so odd about it. I mean, my husband is coming home! HOME! Why does that sounds so strange to me? Like it is some magical thing that I don't deserve? Like it is so strange for wives to be able to see their husbands? I just can't wrap my mind around the fact that in a day, my husband will be sitting on our couch snuggling with me and eating cheeze-its. It's been 7 months since I have seen him. And oddly, those 7 months have now become my sense of "normal". It is normal for me to do everything myself. It's normal for Emma to kiss a picture goodnight. It's normal to sleep alone and to schedule "cry time". Somehow after 7 months of "normal" I feel like I don't deserve for him to really and truly be home. I can't wrap my mind around how I ever could have deserved to be lucky enough to be able to spend time with my husband. And then I remember, being with your husband all the time is everyone else's normal. How easy it is to take someone for granted when you get to see them all the time. I don't have that problem. I know my time with Jacob is precious Not only is he constantly on a deployment schedule, but his job is such that, I never really know if he is coming home at all. It makes things like dirty socks and snoring seem silly and childish.
I wonder how people would treat their spouses if EVERYONE lived in fear that their significant other wasn't coming home. If EVERYONE dreaded hearing those ominous three sharp knocks on the door. Would our divorce rates be so deplorable? I digress...
The point is, I am very grateful for the time I get to spend with my husband. I am not letting a moment pass me by. So needless to say, this will be my last post for a while (depending on how much hubby sleeps when he gets here that is). I have a feeling he is going to be more exhausted than words could possibly describe.
July 24, 2011
Date night
I was watching the movie "Date Night" with a friend of mine the other day (yes, day. not night) and there was something with Steve Carell's character (Phil) said that I was hoping lots of women were listening to.
In the scene, he and his wife are having a very normal married couple argument. It starts when Phil asks Claire (his wife) why she doesn't "light up" for him anymore. She goes into a rant about how much she does all day and how overworked she is and finishes with "So I'm SORRY if I don't wanna light up for you when you come home. I'm TIRED!"
And this is when Phil says (not a direct quote) "you know, I could help you with a lot of that. I know I don't do it the 'right' way, and you think I will just mess everything up, but I can HELP you. I want to help you and I think if you just gave me a chance, I might surprise you. I really think I could surprise you."
(And then of course during the course of the movie he DOES surprise her with how capable and intelligent he really is)Wow. What really struck me was the sincerity, hurt and longing that this line was delivered with. He just wanted to please his wife! He just wanted to help! He just wanted to make things easier for her! What a well meaning and caring guy. It was perfect and I think many MANY husbands feel this exact same way. They try to help out or do something special, and its looked at by his wife as "wrong". or they say "it would just be easier to do it myself" OUCH. Think about what that little phrase means. It would be easier for him to sit on his butt and watch TV, than for him to put in effort into doing something nice for you....... ya..... I know. It sounds pretty bad doesn't it?
My heart goes out to all the women who feel so overworked, and to their men who want to help, but aren't allowed to. I have been there and I know how horribly "normal" it is. It is a real spirit killer when something is going on that just ISNT working, and all anyone can say about it is that it's normal. Who wants to be married if mundane frustration, lack of appreciation, along with a loss of "lighting up" is all that you can expect? EWW!
I confess, that was us a few years ago. Luckily, we found a way to combat it which is working SOOOOOO well for us I wanna shout it from the mountain tops. I could preach about it.... but I will just drop the name of my favorite book that I believe single handedly not only saved my marriage, but made it incredibly enjoyable instead of mundane.
Love and Respect
by Emerson Eggeriches
It is all about how two well meaning people who care about each other deeply can still have a hectic and what feels like very unloving relationship and it goes on to show you how to fix it! The key.... respect! It was such a simple concept yet so foreign to me and this book made it all make sense and put everything in perspective.
WARNING: this book IS written by a christian and IS a christian book. I am not a christian and have read it several times. It's not a book that is trying to convert you. What he is saying is true. He just chooses to back it up with scripture instead of studies (which he also mentions).
In the scene, he and his wife are having a very normal married couple argument. It starts when Phil asks Claire (his wife) why she doesn't "light up" for him anymore. She goes into a rant about how much she does all day and how overworked she is and finishes with "So I'm SORRY if I don't wanna light up for you when you come home. I'm TIRED!"
And this is when Phil says (not a direct quote) "you know, I could help you with a lot of that. I know I don't do it the 'right' way, and you think I will just mess everything up, but I can HELP you. I want to help you and I think if you just gave me a chance, I might surprise you. I really think I could surprise you."
(And then of course during the course of the movie he DOES surprise her with how capable and intelligent he really is)Wow. What really struck me was the sincerity, hurt and longing that this line was delivered with. He just wanted to please his wife! He just wanted to help! He just wanted to make things easier for her! What a well meaning and caring guy. It was perfect and I think many MANY husbands feel this exact same way. They try to help out or do something special, and its looked at by his wife as "wrong". or they say "it would just be easier to do it myself" OUCH. Think about what that little phrase means. It would be easier for him to sit on his butt and watch TV, than for him to put in effort into doing something nice for you....... ya..... I know. It sounds pretty bad doesn't it?
My heart goes out to all the women who feel so overworked, and to their men who want to help, but aren't allowed to. I have been there and I know how horribly "normal" it is. It is a real spirit killer when something is going on that just ISNT working, and all anyone can say about it is that it's normal. Who wants to be married if mundane frustration, lack of appreciation, along with a loss of "lighting up" is all that you can expect? EWW!
I confess, that was us a few years ago. Luckily, we found a way to combat it which is working SOOOOOO well for us I wanna shout it from the mountain tops. I could preach about it.... but I will just drop the name of my favorite book that I believe single handedly not only saved my marriage, but made it incredibly enjoyable instead of mundane.
Love and Respect
by Emerson Eggeriches
It is all about how two well meaning people who care about each other deeply can still have a hectic and what feels like very unloving relationship and it goes on to show you how to fix it! The key.... respect! It was such a simple concept yet so foreign to me and this book made it all make sense and put everything in perspective.
WARNING: this book IS written by a christian and IS a christian book. I am not a christian and have read it several times. It's not a book that is trying to convert you. What he is saying is true. He just chooses to back it up with scripture instead of studies (which he also mentions).
July 21, 2011
Step by Step: Rocking Chair Monogram
If you would like to make something that looks like this, read on friends. This is my step by step guide to making a see through wood monogram.
Materials needed:
Painter's tape
Exacto Knife
Cutting surface (mine is a glass one made for scrap booking)
Paint
I used a white gloss spray paint, but I actually recommend using flat paint and finishing with a gloss topcoat because it has better wear for kids furniture and also, you don't need as many coats of paint since flat paint "sticks" better.
First I put some painters tape sort of haphazardly on my glass cutting surface. Since my design was so simple and required only straight lines and right angles, I just used the lines on the glass mat and made my cuts with that instead of printing out a picture (which I would usually do and will show you how to do in a later post)
When using lines on a cutting glass, the easiest way to make sure you are following the lines exactly is by first folding the tape to the line you would like to cut at creating a visible crease that you can then follow with your knife
This is the finished letter
Next, I carefully peeled the tape off the matt and placed it on the furniture that was to be painted. I made sure to press the edges flush to the wood with no gaps that any paint could accidentally slip into.
I sprayed the whole thing with three coats of the white gloss spray paint
I waited for the paint to dry and carefully peeled off the painters tape at a 45 degree angle as instructed. and TADA, Emma's Monogram chair is complete. All in less than an hour.... Although if I am being honest, I will probably go back and finish the chair in a few coats of polyurethane for some extra durability and ease in cleaning up the messes that are inevitable.
Materials needed:
Painter's tape
Exacto Knife
Cutting surface (mine is a glass one made for scrap booking)
Paint
I used a white gloss spray paint, but I actually recommend using flat paint and finishing with a gloss topcoat because it has better wear for kids furniture and also, you don't need as many coats of paint since flat paint "sticks" better.
First I put some painters tape sort of haphazardly on my glass cutting surface. Since my design was so simple and required only straight lines and right angles, I just used the lines on the glass mat and made my cuts with that instead of printing out a picture (which I would usually do and will show you how to do in a later post)
I sprayed the whole thing with three coats of the white gloss spray paint
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