Re-deployment candy land

During our last deployment, my friends and family mistakenly believed that since I was not constantly complaining and visibly struggling, that I must be doing fantastically better than themselves. They would lay their problems on me to fix, or feel sorry for. I would sarcastically reply with how my life was like candy land, blissfully free of problems and generally wonderful in every way. That shut em up pretty good the first time I used it, so it's been kind of a staple of 2011. Now, I'm facing of the opposite problem. People really DO think my life is a candy land. I get calls from people that go kinda like this

 Them:
"so, how have you been"
Me:
"umm... Okay I guess"
 "oh Dont be modest. I bet you are fabulous. Isn't it great to have him home"
 "ya, well we are still adjusting"
 "uh huh, so did you go frolicking though fields of dasies yesterday and dance in the rain?"
 "no..."
"oh that must be tommorw, what am I thinking? Well you better save up some energy for the amazing sex you will be having all night"
 ".........."
"bye"

 Okay, maybe not THAT bad, but I do get very strange comments and questions that are asked in such a way, that it's difficult to know what to say when they are so far off base. I love having my husband home. I'm so glad that he is safe. That alone has lifted an enormous weight off my shoulders, but then there is no shortage of new things we are dealing with and working through. Now, here my husband has asked me to keep a few things strictly beaten us, so I am going to tell you about the general problems that couples with children in our situation are facing.

 Kids: depending on the age, a child may be angry at dad for leaving, confused as to when he is leaving again, he may be angry or throw tantrums all day, may stop sleeping well at night, spend his time out with friends all day or they may not even know who dad IS. You get the idea. It's very confusing and frustrating for them and they often act out, giving little down time to the parents.

On the other side, you have a dad who may not have ever met his kid, or left a barely walking toddler and came home to a talking, reasoning kid. The guilt and confusion that goes along with that isn't easy. And that is just the baseline, no combat issues. Imagine how hard it is for a soldier who saw children die, maybe even by their own hand. Thats a whole other realm I can't even begin to talk about, but it's very real.

 Marriage: many married couples disconnect at some point and have to work at being together again. The adjustment of having a soldier back in the house is a big one. I still am not quite sure how to go about the adjusting yet. So far, it's just a lot of frustration and miscommunication.
Think about it. a year. A YEAR. That's a long time for people to change, form new habits, become stronger or more frail, and in the mist of a deployment many people have changed their whole outlook on life. Some serious changed have happened, and it is no simple task figuring out a whole new family dynamic.